Louder - Demi Lovato/Selena Gomez/Liam Payne

9/Collapsed/

9/Collapsed/

“I messed it up and now I don't know what to do, we ran in circles and wasted time, from right to wrong.”

+ + + +

Why did I constantly feel so conflicted with myself? I mean I was happy that I got signed, and ever since I did, all I could think about is write and write and just simply write. It helped me put down all of the crazy thoughts that were going through my head. But at the same time, I felt like I had made the worst decision of my life. Why was I constantly so conflicted with myself? I didn’t understand that part one bit.

Christmas was approaching and I was lost as to where I wanted to go because I obviously couldn’t go see my mother considering our horrible fight the other day. Selena and Demi kept telling me that I was welcome to come to their house but I denied their request because they weren’t that close to me and I knew it would be awkward to just come to a family gathering. Plus they would have to get me a gift and I couldn’t impose on them like that.

My best friend, Noelle, called the other day, joking around-yelling at me about how I was getting so famous and didn’t even think to call her. I told her about how busy I was and she totally understood. We have this relationship where we tend to joke around a lot. We’ve known each other since third grade, so I guess you could say we’re pretty tight. During our conversation, we got to talking about Christmas and I told her my situation. She said to come on right over to her house. I agreed because I’ve known her for so much longer and her family knows me better than Demi and Selena.

Two more shows pass, Nashville and Vancouver. Today was the day before Christmas Eve and I was packing up my stuff. I was in a rush because I was supposed to be at the airport in an hour and I had literally nothing prepared. I was running around the tour bus like an idiot, packing all of the clothes that I could into my suit case.

“Ellie you still have fifteen minutes before we leave!” Selena hollered from the front end of the bus.

Shit! I continued to run and now went into the bathroom to grab all of the stuff that I could possibly need. I threw that into my carry on and zipped up all of my luggage. I threw on my backpack and dragged both of my suitcases behind me to the front of the bus.

“Ready!” I smiled, approaching Selena and Demi who were waiting with their packed luggage.

“Wow, you’re actually early this time,” Demi stated sarcastically.

“Just threw in whatever,” I replied back with sarcasm.

“Well then let’s go,” she smiled and we all filed out of the bus and towards the Vancouver airport with all of the bodyguards following us.

+ + + +

“Ellie!” Noelle screamed as I ran up towards her, dropping all of my luggage in the airport pick up area.

I hugged her and she hugged me as tightly as I did her. “I’ve missed you,” she said through our hug.