trees » joshler

•one•

josh

i was just sitting there, staring at the alarm clock. it was 12:43 in the morning. now, most people think this is a late time to be awake. not me.  no matter how many times i've tried to sleep, i just can't. it's not like i don't want to, i just can't.

i'm always lost in my never ending thoughts. one thought leads to the next, and i can't stop myself from thinking.

why am i here?

it's not like anyone needs me, i don't even talk, so no one even knows who i am. and i doubt anyone ever will.

there's not really any specific reason i don't talk, however my dad insists that i have serious problems. and, to be honest, i don't think he's wrong.

i remember trying one day to see how long i could be completely silent, and i found that i liked being silent much better. i couldn't have words held against me, i realized. that idea just stuck with me, and here i am nearly four years later, still not saying a word. i honestly don't know what my own voice sounds like anymore. that's how long i've been silent.

i just think that the world is better without my voice. i'm insignificant anyways, so why even bother? it's not like anyone will listen. my voice doesn't matter. there's no point to talk, i'll most likely just mess things up if i do. things are better this way.

i was, once again, lost in my thoughts. then i heard a loud knock on the door. i shook my head, getting rid of the thoughts and trying to process this one.

why is someone at the door at almost one o'clock in the morning?

i was just about to go downstairs, when i heard slow, unsteady steps in the hallway and down the stairs. my mum.

i heard the door open, and immediately hear an unfamiliar voice. i strained to hear what they were saying but i didn't hear much. all i heard was "tyler" something and "missing."

i heard my mum say "sorry, i haven't seen him."

then i heard a small sob and a "thank you."

then the door was closed.

i immediately knew what had happened from those two words. i guess some kid called tyler was missing. i didn't recognize the voice, or the name, so either they just moved here, they don't go out much, or i'm crazy.
most likely one of the last two, cos if someone recently moved in we would know.

i decided i had nothing better to do, so i decided to try to find this tyler kid. it's not like anyone would notice i was gone.

i slipped on my black converse, and a jacket. i snuck out the window and climbed down, making sure to close the window, but not all the way so that i could still get back in. making the least amount of noise as possible, i jumped down and began walking. i'm not sure where i was going, but then i had an idea.

i was going to a place where i used to go. i was walking toward the forest.
it was peaceful, and i liked it. when i used to get overwhelmed, i would come here. i had too many voices talking to me, and here, the only thing was trees. and it was peaceful, because it was silent. that's one of the things that made me realize that silent was better.

as i looked around the forest that i was now in, i had a lot of memories. i remember why i liked it so much.

i walked around for about ten minutes, finding or hearing nothing.

then i heard someone running. i chased after the noise, and caught up to them.

they looked back at me quickly before stopping and collapsing to the ground. i could see that they were shaking. as i looked closer, i saw that this person was a small boy, with short chocolate brown hair.

is this tyler?

"i-i th-thought you were m-my mum.."
he said quietly.

i smiled at him softly, not saying anything.

he looked at me, eyebrows knitted together in concern, and probably confusion.

"w-why won't you speak?"

i couldn't answer that question. i couldn't say anything, so i just looked down.

"c-can you hear me?"

i nodded.

he must've caught on, and he sighed, and said "o-oh. you're silent a-all the time?"

i simply nodded my head.

he looked up at me again, our eyes meeting for a second, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"oh. i g-get it. w-well, my name's tyler.

so it is tyler.

i smiled at that, and tyler looked back at me with sad eyes.

i was about to sit down next to him, looking at him to make sure that i could. he nodded, and i sat down.

i shot him a confused look, one that said "why are you here?"

"i come h-here often. i come to get away so that i can feel something, feel like i b-belong." he said the last part quietly.

i gave him a knowing look. i knew how he felt.

i heard a small sniffle, followed by a whimper. i looked over to see the small boy with his knees to his chest, shaking again.

i look at him, and he looks up at me. i wrap my arms around him, wiping the tears off of his cheeks. he put his head in my chest, letting out small whimpers.

here i am, at one o'clock in the morning, holding a boy i just met. weird, huh? somehow i felt like we needed each other, though. i'm not sure  why, but i can just feel it.

i sat there for a while, listening to tyler's whimpers dying down. he eventually stopped, and he was talking again. he talked to me some more, and i got to know him.

a while later, we were about to leave. i hugged him, and i heard him mumble quietly, "i really wish you would talk. i wanna know you.." it was barely audible, but i heard it.

i pulled away and looked at him sadly. he looked at me, looking like be wished i spoke. i wished i could talk for him, but i just couldn't. i hope he understands.

he sighs and he looks at me once again, mumbling a "bye," and then turns and walks, leaving me there for a second.

i try to comprehend what just happened. i stay there for a second, just being silent for a second. then i walk back home. i climb back up the tree, very quietly, and open my window, going into my room, and shutting it again.

after that day, i planned on coming here everyday. he said that he comes here everyday, so hopefully he's here tomorrow. because i really want to know this boy.

.•

ey so here's a rlly long chapter, cos it's 3:30 in the morning, and i have nothing better do, i can't sleep, so here's this shitty chapter.

bUt lIkE thIS IS lIKE 1200 wORDS iM pRouD oF mYsElF

(1214 words guys oml)