The Rise Of Wanheda.

Chapter 3: New Life.

The next couple of weeks were all about building the foundations of this new life. My subterranean four walls had started to feel like home as did the solitude of this new existence.
I had spent much of my time setting traps for small prey, securing my habitat and scavenging  in areas where there was still wreckage from the fallen Ark from when it broke up on its entry to the ground. I had explored much of the area around me and discovered a grounder trading post about three miles from my location. A useful facility to trade my scavenged items when I could once again feel comfortable around people. For the moment I would continue to catch my food, collect the metal that had fallen from the sky and confront each day as best as I could.
I wasn't able to allow myself much in the way of free time as I found my mind wandering back to the events at Mount Weather. There were times it would replay over and over in my head, never ceasing. It was always there screaming at me from the darkness, reminding me of the deeds I had done. My dreams were now nightmares, sleep became an unwelcome companion.  I managed to distracted myself at night with the literature left behind in the bunker, reading almost everything cover to cover bar one, Milton's Paradise Lost. This tale of the Morning Star, the angel called Lucifer falling from grace felt a little too close for comfort.
I often wondered to myself if my soul would ever feel contented once again. If this veil of sadness would follow me for the rest of my days. I was beginning to loose all  hope and that frightened me beyond words. Maybe I would continue to fall, burning through the heavens like The Morning Star in Paradise lost, until finally all that was left of me was ash and dust. Maybe like that fallen angel I would begin to own my darkness no longer needing the light to guide me.
Fighting theses inner demons exhausted me, I was one girl in a world that had brought me nothing but darkness, it would be easier to let them win, let them take what was left of any light I still carried and extinguish it once and for all.
Embracing the dark side of my nature would be difficult to return from once I had decided to let go. The future, this great unknown landscape now felt like such a curse. Maybe I'll finish Paradise Lost after all and spend a little time musing on what it truly means to sacrifice the good that dwells in your soul.