Shadows (Book 2 in the Inner Wolf Series)

Chapter 22: Darkness

I ran all the way to my house before I completely broke down.

I just killed Allison.

I just killed Allison

I just killed Allison.

Nothing is worse than the pain of loosing someone you love, except the pain of losing someone you love because of your own hands. I know it wasn't completely my fault, but still it was me who held the sword. It was me who pushed it through her body. It was me who pulled it out and watch as she fell to her death.

I couldn't help, but let all the feelings come over and take over. The sadness of losing my best friend and the pain of losing my boyfriend not just to another girl, but even maybe to death. I was crying so hard that I didn't even notice someone come into my room or pull me into their chest.

Looking up I notice Scott sitting there while brushing my hair trying to comfort me. Pulling away from Scott I just stare at him blankly wondering why he is being so nice to me right now.

"Why are you here?"

"To check up on you. I know how close you and Allison were when she first moved here and it was kind of you who got us together in the first place."

"But it's also because of me that she is dead, so why are you here?"

"It wasn't your fault. You had no control over your body I've seen it happen before. Kai promise me you won't blame yourself for this. Okay it was the nogitsune who killed Allison not you."

"I don't deserve to live after what I have done. I have fought so hard to stay away from the dark side of me and now I don't think I can. The nogitsune told me that it only took one thing for me to slip into one side. I thinking murdering your best friend falls under the bad. Who knows how hard it will be to fight the darkness inside of me now. Scott I'm terrifed that it's going to take over. Wait-thats it."

"What?"

"The answer to the riddle. It cannot be seen, cannot be felt

Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.

It lies behind stars and under hills, and empty holes it fills.

It comes first and follows after,

ends life, kills laughter. The answer is darkness. 

What I truly fear is darkness."

I tell him finally realizing it. Finally understanding what this ongoing battle is between myself. I'm afraid to let the darkness in afraid for it to take over.

"Kai, you know the only way to beat your fear is to face them. Maybe you need to let the darkness in and overcome it in order for you to win."

Scott says before asking me if I want to come with him to talk to Deaton. Nodding my head I take his hand and follow behind him to Lydia's car while thinking about what he said to me. Maybe I do need to let the darkness in to overcome it and eventually be free of this on going fight.

I watch as Lydia turns to look at me giving me a small smile at the fact we all just lost our best friend, but we need to move on and kill the nogitsune in honor of Allison. What I remember is that she was able to actually kill an oni, so she had the answer we just need to follow in her footsteps.

Deaton starts talking about how this isn't a an actual person that we are fighting. That it's just some spirit that took the shape of a person, who happens to be Stiles. Lydia mentions how someone caught it once so we should be able to catch it again. Deaton looks over all of us before ending on Scott shaking his head.