Phan One-Shots

Primetime

A/n: why does everything i write turn into domestic nonsense lately?? when will d&p stop being married all the time?? THIS is their impact, turning a poor emotionless soul like me into an ooey gooey mushfest.

Genre: Fluffy Smut

Wordcount: 7,298

Summary: Domestic bants gone wrong!! Looking at houses together turned into defiling their own house in Record Time!!

Warnings: facials, exhibitionism

"This one has a spiral staircase." Phil pointed out excitedly, grinning down at where Dan had collapsed across the floor. When he'd walked into their office half an hour earlier to find his boyfriend curled up under a blanket under the premise of editing, he'd only smiled fondly and decided to fall onto the nearby couch. He was still there now, keeping Dan company through the process, even if it was by distracting him every few minutes.

Their current distraction came in the form of the real estate website that Dan had stumbled upon a few weeks back, the damn site that had finally set the ball rolling in their plans to actually move on from their current flat at some point. They'd bookmarked more listings than was probably realistic, debating the pros and cons of each one before daring to book an appointment to see any of them.

The problem was that today the site had been updated with entirely new listings and both of them had stumbled across what they were absolutely certain had to be their dream house.

It didn't take them longer than a few seconds to realize that they weren't looking at the same house.

"Mine has a secret room." Dan challenged, looking so smug and invested in the banter that Phil didn't have the heart to point how distracted they'd gotten. Instead he simply grinned, leaning off the edge of the couch and bracing a hand on the back of one of Dan's legs to get a glimpse at his screen.

"You're kidding." After confirming that, yes, Dan's house did have a secret room that resembled something straight out of a spy movie... Phil had no choice but to retaliate with the big guns. He leaned back into his seat, turning his laptop to show off the high quality image of clean blue water with a prideful smirk. "This one has an indoor swimming pool."

Dan huffed, eyeing Phil warily as he leaned closer to study the picture. Finally, after surely spending over a minute looking for even on flaw to point out, Dan resigned to accepting that Phil's house did have one obvious pro. He wasn't about to admit to as much out loud though, would even go out of his way to try and belittle that pro with a thousand and one reasons why his house still had more going for it.

At that point, it became an all-out war to see who would be able to convince the other to see the appeal of their house first. Neither one was willing to back down though, and eventually they found themselves both rolling around on the floor and bickering like idiots between kisses.

"This one has a balcony." Dan giggled, throwing his blanket over Phil's face to keep him from retaliating right away. Nevermind that he'd already pointed out this asset once before, they were both running out of things to list that actually stood out about their chosen properties. Unable to keep the smile from his face, Phil didn't even protest as Dan clambered on top of him to sit on his stomach, hands braced on the flat plane of his chest.

"Mine has a tub big enough for ten people." Phil blurted the moment Dan finally removed the blanket from over his face, likely looking to pick up where they'd left off with their impromptu makeout session from before. Needless to say, the blanket was immediately replaced and rather than a kiss there was a long unimpressed groan in answer.