Phan One-Shots

Wishing I Could Make This Mine

A/n: A oneshot that was requested by one of my supporters on patreon! Last time my stripper fic was totally self-indulgent, this time I have the excuse that I'm indulging someone else so it's okay. 

y'all: can i get uhhhhhhhhhhh,,,, updating schedule for misfit?

me: updating machine broke, we got stripper fics tho

Genre: fluffy smut?

Wordcount: 18,317

Summary: Phil has been recovering from his last break-up for a very long time, to the point that it's more about not wanting to put himself out there again than it's about wanting to go back to what he had before. His friends pick up on this and he ends up being dragged to a strip club, only to run into his childhood best friend (and lifelong crush) Dan Howell, at the bar. Dan Howell, the bashful and shy teen he's been out of contact with for years now, who then proceeds to prance onto the stage and strip with all the confidence in the world.

Warnings: lingerie, nsfw dancing, sexworkers

When Phil woke up that evening after a rather satisfactory nap, a stack of sappy romantic movies on his bedside table and a drained bottle of wine by the foot of his bed, the last thing he'd expected to see was someone scrutinizing his state. He'd bolted upright, eyes wide as unwashed hair fell in front of them. His guest was indifferent, brown eyes boring back into his with disinterest. And when he demanded to know how Anthony had managed to let himself into the apartment, all he received in lieu of answer was a bag of take-out shoved into his chest. He'd accepted it, of course, but even as he munched down on fries and a sloppy burger... he was wary.

See, Phil wasn't used to people being around to witness it as he scraped himself off the floor after a particularly harsh break-up. He lived alone and worked from home, so usually he had ample time to himself to mourn the loss. If the desired amount of time happened to stretch out over months rather than days, a proper post-breakup hibernation of sorts, then so be it. He would re-integrate back into society when he was ready.

Except... he'd made a mistake this time. Yesterday in the midst of his daily sad movie binge, he'd accepted an incoming call from a friend. Anthony had spent ten seconds utterly silent before, in a deadpan voice, asking: "is that The Notebook?". Phil had made a pitiful attempt at trying to cover his tracks, but it was too late. Anthony knew exactly what was going on and even went so far as to threaten Phil with physical contact if he didn't show up to lunch the next day. Phil had slept through lunch, so here Anthony was, snuggled up to Phil's side and ranting animatedly about his day.

How he'd picked the locks to get inside the apartment was a story for another day, apparently.

"We should go to a strip club!" Anthony shouted suddenly, throwing his arms up excitedly and sending the remaining quarter of Phil's burger flying through the air. Phil paused, jaw still slack, mouth hanging open where it'd been expecting to bite down on some food.

He started to scowl, only for it to shift into a smile instead when Anthony attempted to scramble off the bed and ended up falling face-first to the floor, ankle wrapped up in the sheets. "Ouch!"

"Are you serious?" Phil snickered, leaning back and watching as Anthony rushed to his closet. He tried not to be offended as some of his best outfits were thrown indifferently to the floor, discarded as if they weren't even an option. When Anthony turned around, holding was a plain black t-shirt and a pair of dark skinny jeans, that was when Phil knew. He was fucked. "Damn it. You are, aren't you?"

"Come on, it'll be fun." Anthony all but purred, shimmying back over to the bed and waving the chosen outfit through the air as if it were a victory flag. When Phil didn't immediately perk up, Anthony began to pout. "I've let you do things your way for months, you've been moping and watching romantic comedies six nights a week since Christmas. Don't think you're sneaky just because I've chosen not to call you out on it this entire time. I've known the whole time. It's nearly summer, Phil, it's time to move on."