Pure Feeling

don't burst my bubble

"So, have you fallen for the great Harry Styles yet?" Gen wiggled her eyebrows at me and grinned.

I rolled my eyes while Nadia laughed, enjoying Gen's interrogation. "Of course not."

"So he's fallen for you then? Come on, Sash! You expect me to believe that two weeks after you, and I quote, 'sort of, maybe, made love' you're still only fucking? Someone has feelings. Someone is in denial."

I pushed the scraps of my food around on my plate and refused to look Gen in the eye. She was adamant the shift I'd felt wasn't fleeting -- that it had been the start of something real between Harry and I -- while I was positive there was nothing but sexual attraction. I hadn't told either of my best friends that Harry had said he didn't think he'd ever want to stop shagging me; they'd look too deeply into a statement that was only in reference to never being over good sex.

"Or, we are two consenting adults who can have sex without a conventional relationship. Lots of people do it."

"Yeah, and someone always catches feelings."

"Gen's right, Sash, you have to be careful," Nadia piped up, her voice soft and full of concern. "Maybe you're too close and you can't see it, but the way you are together... someone is going to get hurt."

Maybe I was barely staying afloat in a pool of denial, but I wasn't in danger of developing any real feelings. If by accident Harry did, then we'd walk away, because neither of us wanted them. I couldn't see how someone could get hurt by ending our arrangement over something we didn't want.

"How're things with William, Nads?" Gen huffed at the change of subject but Nadia beamed.

"Good. We're together but keeping things quiet because of everything that is going on, you know? Don't want to add fuel to the inferno." Nadia reached across the table to pat my hand. "William and I are a testament to feelings sneaking up on you. I think you're in deeper than you know."

"I don't think fuck buddies attend niece's birthday parties, and they definitely don't get invited by the sister," Gen quipped. "Speaking of which, you're going to be late if you don't go now! Are you sure you don't want us to drop you off?"

"Positive! Drew hasn't made himself known in ages, and I stood up to him last time so I think he's finally gotten the picture."

We all stood up, Gen giving me a quick hug before scuttling off to the register. We rotated who shouted lunch, and it was Gen's turn. Nadia walked out the front with me and waited until my Uber arrived, which for the first time in months felt unnecessary. Drew had become dormant and so had my fears, it was liberating to not be looking over my shoulder every second of the day.

It was a twenty minute drive -- thanks to light traffic -- to the eight bedroom, Grade II listed detached home that Harry gave me the address for. It was an impressive but understated home, with an entrance via the gated Cavendish Close. The wealth that Harry's family possessed was enormous, and I felt a little out of place in my 15 pound Miss Selfridge dress as I entered the code to get into the lavish estate.

A housekeeper let me in and showed me through to the backyard where the party was being set up. I'd been invited to come before all of Emmeline's friends arrived. I was expecting an intimate setting, but I was completely taken aback by what I saw when I stepped through the French doors which led onto a stone tiled patio.

Harry was sitting at a child's size cedarwood table with his niece having a tea party. My heart swelled in my chest as I took in the way he was seated -- his knees were pressed up to his chest as he had to practically fold himself in half to sit on the pint sized chair.