The Guilt That Lies Within

Chapter Four

"Alright, Ms. Taylor, Chris is good to go," I said with a shimmering smile on my face.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Stefano," She deeply inhaled before she turned to her son, "Chris, why don't you go play with the toys in the waiting room?"

The four year old boy stared at us with a blank expression, before he slowly opened the door and made his way down the long, narrow hallway.

"I just wanted to ask you something, without him hearing," the nervous mother stated, "please don't take this the wrong way. Is Chris ever going to be normal, like the other boys his age?"

My eyes immediately softened at her words, "Ms. Taylor, normal is a relative term. Chris is responding nicely to both the medication and the therapy. He's going to face challenges throughout life, like every other child."

"I understand that, they explained that to me when he was diagnosed last month. I just don't understand why this happened to him... I did everything right; I fed him organic baby food and hand knitted his baby clothes. He was fine one day, talking to me about his favourite colour, and the next he was staring at the wall, unable to talk, the next," her eyes began welling up with tears, "Did... did I do something to make him this way?"

"I assure you, Ms. Taylor-"

"Sophia. You can call me, Sophia," the woman said softly.

I nodded sympathetically, "Sophia, you did nothing to cause this." I caringly grabbed her hands in mine, "your son has autism. There is nothing you, nor I, could have done to prevent this. All we can do is try to make his life as easy as possible."

She sighed, "okay, thank-"

Sophia was interrupted by a screeching sound that came from the waiting room. She stood hastily as she ran towards the door, ripping it open. We both were shocked to see what awaited us in the waiting room. Chris was curled into a ball, rocking back and forth, in the corner clenching a baby blue bulldozer in his tiny fingers; while Mia was trying to calm an angry man at the front desk. That must be what set off Chris... Sophia instantly ran to her son's side, as she attempted to sooth him.

"Where is he?! I know that prick is here," a man yelled at Mia.

I couldn't see his face; however I recognized his voice. Where had I heard his voice before? ACE... He was the man with Spencer. Landon. I felt my face turn as white as a ghost as I rounded the corner.

I tried to keep my composure as I walked towards Mia, "what's going on here?"

"Dr. Stefano! I told this man he had to keep his voice down, or he would be asked to leave, but-"

"It's alright, Mia I'll take it from here," I turned to Landon, as I gestured down the hallway, "room five, third door on the right."

As the man walked by me, an overwhelming stench of bourbon shot into my nose. That explains a lot. He better not be around Spencer like that; Spencer. I couldn't get her out of my head while I was in Seattle.

*flashback*

"Madre," I solftly said as I entered the room, "I'm here."

"il mio bambino," she turned to face me, her hands not leaving my fathers. She cautiously moved her lips to her husband's forehead, lightly kissing it, before releasing his and taking mine.

The love my parents shared was like no other. It was the kind of love that made your heart hurt as it beat faster and faster. The kind of love that, once found, could never be duplicated. My father bought my mother flowers every Monday and Thursday. He loved her endlessly, as she did him. As a child, my family would have story nights, where we would all sit around the fireplace and read fairy tales. Each time my mother read her love story, she had a twinkle in her. I would never forget the way she looked at my father every time she finished reading the book. I craved a love like that. I wondered if Spencer would ever look at me like that. If her beautiful, creamy skin would ever touch mine again. I couldn't believe I'd let her leave, especially with another man. I felt my blood begin to boil at the thought of her in his arms. I no longer craved love, I craved her love.

*end of flashback*

I roughly ran my fingers through my silk hair and walked over to Chris and his mother, who were both seated on the floor.

"Hey, Chris," I said as I cautiously sat on the floor next to Sophia, "that's a cool looking truck you've got there, can you show it to me?"

Chris's rocking slowed down slightly, as he gingerly handed me the blue bulldozer; with his head still firmly squeezed between his knees.

"Thank you, Chris," I moved a little closer to him, "bulldozers are my favourite kind of trucks. I have a puzzle with all sorts of trucks on it, if you'd like you could take it home with you."

Chris stopped rocking and lifted his head from between his knees. He sluggishly nodded his head up and down, as he answered my question.

"Mia, would you please go get the truck puzzle from the cabinet? The Taylor's are going to take it home," I said while standing, still keeping my eyes on Chris.

She slowly nodded and turned towards the hallway. I exhaled in relief, as I looked at Sophia, who was slowly standing from Chris.

Sophia ran her fingers through her long, brown hair, "thank you, Dr. Stefano, for everything."

"It's my pleasure," I assured her as I reached into my white coat pocket and pulled out a pad of paper, "this is my cell phone number, please feel free to call or text me if you, or Chris, needs anything."

With that, I turned and started walking towards room five. My brain began to fill with explanations as to why Landon could be here; he couldn't know about Lucas, could he? Landon was pacing back and forth when I guardedly entered the room. His eyes met mine with an intensity I'd never seen. Before I knew it a cracking noise filled the room, as his fist made contact with my jaw.

"What the fuck," I said shocked, as I grabbed my face.

"You stay the fuck away from her! I swear to god if you get anyone else to stalk her, I'll kill you myself! Do you hear me," he yelled as he punched me again, this time in the nose.

Blood began gushing, from my nose, all over the floor. How could he possibly know about Lucas?

"What are you talking about," I said, coughing up blood.

"Don't pull that shit, you know exactly what I'm talking about! That asshole you had following her didn't do a very good job if she fucking knew she was being followed"

I remembered Lucas saying something about Spencer seeing him...

*flashback*

"Why are you at the pharmacy, Lucas? I told you to follow her, not run errands," I huffed in frustration.

I could hear him smirking over the phone, "I know how to do my job, Zach. I did follow her, I had to leave because she saw me."

"What was she doing there?"

"Picking up a prescription. Oh what was it... Flotine... Foxine...?"

"Fluoxetine?"

"Yeah, that's it!"

"No...No that can't be right."

"I know what I heard! That's what the lady said."

"What does that mean," I mumbled more to myself then him.

"Shouldn't you be the one to know what that means, you are the doctor here," Lucas said as he attempted to be funny.

After a long pause, I angrily yelled, "Listen here, stronzo, I hired you-"

"I'll call you later, Zachary."

Beep

*end of flashback

I felt my head pound in my ears as I began hearing the words that came out of Landon's mouth, "look man, I don't know what you want with her, but I suggest you leave her alone."