Bound By Blood

Chapter 17 - Unwanted Aloneness

So yay, I updated twice in one day! Woo... yeah not that big of an achievement. Well this won't happen again seeing as its the end of the half term... :( Haven't done Toms point of veiw in a while so I put one in here... Its not very good but eh... So until next time, Enjoy!

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Chapter 17 - Not wanting to be alone anymore

Eilsa's POV.

When we got home, I had gone straight to my room, just dumped my stuff that we had brought on the floor, my memory was completly back, and I just had to block him away, I cant hurt him. I pushed my bed from the middle of the north wall, to being right at the far corner of the room, where a floor to ceeling window was, alowing me to gaze out to the night sky.

I don't care what happeneds next, I was curled up on my bed, just watching the sky and stars. No music was on like always, just silence. I didn't know when I could take my bandage off so I just left the itchy material on. The moonlight lit my room, giving it a gostly glow which I didn't like very much but I can't sleep in darkness.

I heard my door creak open, but then nothing, just the sound of my, and someone else's breathing filled the room. I knew it was Tom with out even turning around, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to hurt him, but im going to have to live with him. How do you live with someone, but know that you can never let them truly in to your life with out hurting them, how can I live like this.

I know I can trust him, I know he cares for me, but I just can't let him in. That doesn't mean that I can't be happy around him, or that I can't do stuff with him, it just means that I can't tell him anymore about my past or present, that I sort of have to shut him out of my life. And I don't know how I can cope with that. I will just have to find a way no mattur what.

I sighed to myself, why is my life difficult, why can't I just trust someone, why is there always someone there who is going to ruin my life and hurt the people I love. Arg.

The bed sunk down abit, but I didn't move, I didn't speak, I just lay there, and let Tom be. He didn't speak, he just stayed silent. He placed a hand on my arm suddenly, but I imedianly meved away, his arm fell to the bed. I can't let him in. I repeted to myself inside my head as I fought the earge to just hug him, tell him about my past and cry.

But that wasn't going to happen, no mattur how much it earged me, I was going to lay here and go back to my isolated self I was before I met him.

"You really scared me." His sudden voice spoke, breaking the silence that had gathered around us. I didn't know how to respond, I just layed there, emotionless. Thinking over the events of today.

"Eilsa, please... Just know that Im never going to leave you." He said sinserly, I really knew he ment it, but maybe, one day, he may regret it. I just curled into my arms closer, and after awhile, he left. I didn't want him to, I wanted to be there with him. I wanted company, I dont want to be alone anymore.

Once he was gone for sure, I did role over in my bed, I snift in the lingering sent of him that hung in the air, my eyes closed, just trying to imagen him still here with me, but he wasnt'. I looked at my watch that was around my wrist and realised it was three in the morning, we must have been in hospitle for a while.

I just truned back to the window, watching the sun arise, I want company, I want Tom. One night can't hurt can it? It wont ruin anything, will it?

I stood from my bed, and quietly walked to the door, thinking it over in my head about a million times. I walked out the door, quietly and like a ghost. I walked down the hall, the light was on in the living room, the glow was warming and just made me think of a family home. I stoped at the door way form the hall to the main room. Tom was sitting on the couch, a beer in his hand as he stared at the blank screen.