Bound By Blood

Chapter 19 - Run

Ok so its 10 in the morning and i've already writen a terrible chapter for you, I know I spoil you! Aha! Anyway, this is quite short so don't kill me, but I tryed to put more feeling then word into this chapter so tell me what you think! Next chapter will/should be up soon, but intill then, Enjoy....!

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Chapter 19 - Run

Eilsa's POV.

"I'm leaving you."

I don't know why I said it, I guess I just wanted him to feel pain at that moment, and I knew he did. His face fell, all the dominance gone from his expresstion in less then a second, all hope and happiness gone. And I had done that, in three words.

I guess just somewhere inside of me, deep down, I never really loved him. He was my first friend here, and the first every boy in my life to say that he likes me. So in a way, this wasn't true; But it felt like it was.

My heart ached suddenly, and I felt like I just wanted to cry a river, his face made me feel like I had just done something so horrible that I would never be forgiven. And I had. The whole room went silent and dark, all I could see was Jonny standing infront of me.

"If thats what you wish." Jonny eventually let out, I could tell that he was confused and frustrated but trying to act cool.

"Jonny.." I breathed, I have to tell him about America. "I'm not just leaving you, im leaving the country." I found my self only able to say in a whisper, this conversation, this day, has been too over dramatic for me, every small thing seems to be over exaggerated. I just can't handle it anymore.

I let the tears fall, the overwhelmedness take over my body as I realised what I had just done. I had pushed away the only person that ever loved me in the way that he did. I can't handle the pain my heart was in, why was this so hard? All I want to do, is go back home and be with my parents, but I can't do that anymore, everything was black and dark, no hope no reason to be.

But there was still one reason, one shimmer of light to gide me through the darkness. And it was Tom.

He cared for me in ways my parents did, and probably more, helping me through the dark times I had to face. Giving me all I needed, but I had shut him out; And I was scared to re-open the door to him, scared to get my heart broken all over again, scared that I would lose something I loved again. Like I had today.

So in a way, maybe its goood for me to have no one.

In that moment a sudden rage washed over me, I was angry at me, and only me. I had aloud another person into my life, and I had lost them. I had lost Jonny. I had promised myself that I would never let anyone pluck the strings of my heart ever again, and I let it happen. Just look where it got me, alone again.

This is why I never let people in, this is why I shut my self away, this is why I haven't found it in me to let Tom in.

So why did I let Jonny in? What did he do to make me forget? Why am I falling so hard again, I have repeted the pain I went through when my parents passed, I had brought this on myself, and it was all to much to bear.

So I did the one thing I knew how, I ran.

My feet smashed hard against the cold concrete as I pelted along the path. My feet had ran me out of the school, not letting anyone stop me, leaving Jonny in the middle of the room, probably heart broken. But right now my feet where leading me somewhere I had forgot about, they had a mind of there own, running down street after street, knowing each and every wind and corner. I had never been down these roads or pathways, I just got a sudden feeling telling me it was where I had to go, so I merely obliged.

Running fast and furiously down yet another street, this one more crowded then the last, people smashing into me, or vice-versa, as I ran with whatever was left in me. My hearing was muffeled by the fast wind streaming past my ears as I ran faster then I had ever done before, peoples curses where just muffeled noises to me as I turned into yet another mysterious avenue.

My legs started to ach as my adrenilin reached full copasity, my sences going into over drive as everything became so overly clear to me that I found myself panicing. My body was feeling like I had been hit by a train, like I was carrying a poler bear, if that makes sence.

And then, I stopped.

So suddenly that everything spun, my arms shaking, my head spinning, adreninlin pumping. It felt so unreal, so dream like.

And then I took in where I had taken myself, I have forgotten all about this place, all about the times I had denied myself to go in here. Knowing it would only make myself cry like a baby, but yet here I was.

My hands coiling around the tall steal bars, the coolness sending shivers down my spine as reality hit me hard. I slowly pushed the giant gate door open silently, alowing myself entrence to the place I had forbaid myself to enter for so long.

I easily made my way through the thick, untrimed, uncared for, garveyard. The grass tickerling my as I let my tears fall more, it was just as sad as I remember. Only once had I been here, and that was to burry the coffins.

The dusty cobwebs that hung around me made me think that I was the firsst to enter in ages, there was a thin layer of thog here which seemed weird to me, it was coulder her to. It was unbelievably like a movie set, the way everything looked and felt. Maybe it's just my over active imagenation, or the gallons of adrenilin still in my blood stream, but this place seemed forbidden, well in a way, it was for me.

I made my way to the one place I knew could melt me down into a dosen peaces. My parents grave.

The stone looked warn away, weeds growing over the grass to which they lie under. No flowers blosomed around them, nothing was there to show that anyone care about there passing. I realised how much I missed them in that second, the way my mother did my hair, the way my father would play catch with me, all the little memoriys are the ones that came back, the ones I had forgotton, and the ones I wanted so dearly to hold onto.

I sunk to my knees, the overwhelming feeling taking over my body as I felt my self shut down in that moment, lying down inbettween the gaves, pretending they where here with me now. All I could do was close my eyes and let the darkness take over.

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~DARKorLIGHT