I'm done hiding in your shadow (shadowhunter/jace wayland

Can you hear me screaming

Ariana POV
I did NOT want to help clary so I made Alec do it. Thank you woody

In the mean time I was thinking about what's gonna happen with jace. I just really want someone who has time for me like jace before clary came. Someone who wakes up happy to see me. Not happy to see clary. And for the first time in over 16 years I cried. I cried my tiny stone cold black coloured heart. And I couldn't stop.

I lied on my bed with tear stained cheeks. I put the photo of jace next to my head and eventually fell asleep.

Alec lightwood POV
I walked into Ariana's room and saw a photo of jace and her puffy eyes and blotted cheeks and can tell she was crying. Oh jace I'm gonna murder you

Back to Ariana POV
I walk to see jace, Alec and izzy. jace looked raging.
"It was your job to look after her!" Jace seethed at me. Look after wh.. oh shit

"I did not want to look after someone who is the reason why the family that practically made me who I am today is gone."I scream at him

"AND I DIDNT WANT TO LOOK AFTER YOU. You are just so annoying and useless you can't help you never do. But I still stayed and looked after you because I was forced to. Because where parabatai." I look at jace completely heart broken

"What happened to you the jace that I always loved the one who would never let me, Alec or izzy get hurt. The one who would never hurt me. But your not him. Because he left the minute clary walked in. And I'm really staring to want him back because you. The new You can't replace who he is." I had tears streaming down my face and so did jace. I got on my bike and drove back to the institute.

I ran straight to my bathroom where I found it. My razor. I put it against my arm and carved a J into it

"Ahh." I screamed but my walls where sound proof. Jace can you hear me screaming. I finished and in the end jace name was carved into my hand. I stated seeing black dots and rigged lines everywhere before finally fainting and hitting my head against the tiles.

Magnus POV
I strut into Ariana's room( can we just take a break and imagine Magnus Bane just strutting his way into our rooms) and saw blood leaking from her bathroom. I opened the door slowly. And straight away called Alec.

( convo Alec in bold Magnus normal)

"Magnus why are you calling me"

"Alec it's Ariana I can't explain what happened to her but I need you here"

"I'm coming"
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Third person POV
Alex bust through the door and sees Ariana.
"ARIANA. NO."he shakes her trying to wake her up
"Ariana no..no..no."

Ariana's body shots as she roars in pain from Magnus position
"AHHHAHHH." She looks around and sees Magnus and clary running into the room

"Magnus?" She breathes out before standing up. She looks at her arm and sees jace scared into them like a tattoo.
"Why am I alive. Why aM I still here I should be dead." Clary frowns

"You shouldn't be saying that."

"Yeah clary well it's the truth. And you wanna know why. Because your boyfriend used to be my best friend. My crush. But then you swooped in and changed that I don't even know who he is anymore. He caused that he made me do this to myself okay? It's jace' fault because he was to stuck in love land to tell that when he was screaming at me it hurt. It hurt so much that I felt that I had no reason to still be living. Having to put on a fake smile when ever you and jace where together. Crying myself to sleep because my own parabtai has forgotten me. But you don't know that pain do you. Because your CLARY FAIRCHILD the girl that has everyone's attention. So clary I can say that because it has reasons it's the truth. And now I'm stuck with this on my arm it's basically a tattoo saying I'm suicidal for jace. And do you know how that feels? Getting the one you love scream at you that your useless and pathetic? It's not good and it's drove me here to suicide so pleased help me clary. Why shouldn't I say that."
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I have returned to the land of wattpad and is so sorry that my story is late because my internet connection is shit so