A/N: I'm always killing phil or josh oops.
Josh had met Tyler in 9th grade. He thinks. It's hard to pin point when you meet someone through school. For all he knew he could've met Tyler in 8th grade or sometime in middle school. So it's best to say Josh became friends with Tyler in 9th grade. In retrospect, he should've at least tried to remember when he met Tyler, but when you're 14 you don't know that you're going to spend the rest of your life with some kid from your history class.
Tyler met Josh in 9th grade. The 11th of September to be exact. He remembered so clearly how Josh strolled into the room alone and sat near the window. He remembered how his hair was longer and darker and he was tall but not nearly as tall as he is now. Tyler remembers everyday of it.
They had hung out on coincidence. Josh's best friend, Mark, was close with some of Tyler's friends and dragged Josh along to an outing. It was awkward. Josh stuck to Mark and felt his way around, learning each personality. He only liked a few. Soon the group hung out regularly, Josh often tagging along.
Tyler still panics over that New Years Eve. He panicked over the shirt he wore and every possible scenario. What if Josh wanted to kiss? How can you turn down someone you want so bad? He didn't have to worry.
Josh and Tyler hung out alone quite often now. They didn't speak much but they didn't need to.
One by one people started leaving the group forming other friendships. Soon it was just Mark, Tyler and Josh. They were happy and stayed that way until graduation. Josh went to prom with some girl, he doesn't remember. He had discussed with Tyler about going with him, as a joke. Mostly. Mark joked often about how Tyler and Josh were closer and liked each other over him, it wasn't true. Mostly.
After graduation Tyler bought an apartment with Josh. Tyler went to college and Josh got a job. Months passed after graduation and they hadn't spoken to Mark. They never did again.
Every tear Tyler shed, every time he ripped his hair out or threatened to drop out, Josh was there. They never spoke too much about the emotions but they let each other cry and yell and hit things. Tyler dropped out and got a job with Josh. He said he was happy. He never was.
Josh brought home many girls, he remembered few. Tyler remembers every single one. Tyler never brought any girls home, he never brought anyone home. "Tyler...Are you asexual? Or maybe just bad at talking to people? Is it because you don't know that i know you're gay?" Josh comforted.
"You know?"
"I've always known."
"How?"
"Our brains are all mushed together."
Josh remembers none of it. Tyler's memory was foggy. They were both drunk and kissed. Just a drunk kiss. They didn't mind. Because they weren't in love. Not like that. They loved each other but as friends. Josh still swears by it.
It was a Thursday when Tyler asked. "Josh, will we...I know it sounds childish, but will we be friends forever?"
"We're only 28, Ty. We haven't been friends that long. But yes. We will."
"Promise?"
"I don't make promises, Ty."
"For me?"
"For you, I promise."
Tyler could swear Josh was a different person around Debby. Debby changed him. Not for the better. But Josh was happy and if Josh was happy, Tyler was happy. The ring had three diamonds on it and Josh cried and Debby said yes.
Tyler stood next to Josh in the church. Josh was crying and Tyler was about to. Debby stood next to Josh and they looked like a photograph and They were. Tyler wasn't in any of the photos.
"Ty. I'm coming to stay with you for a while." Josh cried over the phone.
"Okay."
Josh's eye was bruised and his lip was split open. Debby tried to call him a lot. "You should see the other guy."
Josh cried a lot. He had a tan line from where the ring used to be. "Why wasn't i good enough?"
Why wasn't I good enough, Tyler never sad.
Tyler blew out all 40 candles that crowded the cake. Josh was the only one there. It was perfect. "Make a wish."
"I wish for you."
They weren't in love. They really weren't. They would shout it from the roof of their apartment building. They would tell it to the therapists and their friends and their families. They weren't in love. They just wanted to spend their lives together.
Josh wanted it first. But Tyler wanted it more. "I thought you weren't in love?"
"We aren't. It's for convenience." There was no ceremony.
"Have you thought about kids?" Every family member asked. They weren't a couple. Marriage doesn't mean a couple. Tyler was the only family Josh needed.
Josh packed the last box. Tyler unpacked the first one. "Welcome! I hope you enjoy it here. Everyone is very sweet."
Josh giggled at the other people in the small village. "Promise we'll never be old like them?" Tyler would say everyday.
"I don't make promises."
"For me you do."
"For you i do."
Josh painted a big '69' on the lawn. They giggled. It was a good birthday.
Josh doesn't remember the exact day. But he remembers the slow decline. He remembers it getting worse and worse until they said his liver was giving up.
It was the 5th of February. Tyler remembered crying when the doctors told them. He cried everyday since.
"I'm still not in love with you, Ty." Josh smiled at the 75 balloons.
"happy birthday. Just you wait till next year."
"Ty...We've talked about this."
"I know. It just...It's nice to imagine."
Three months can go slow or fast depending on what you're waiting for. In their case it was the slowest three months ever. "Mr Joseph. I'm sorry but you have prostate cancer."
"He didn't even touch it!" Tyler would chuckle every time. Josh wishes he had.
Josh's body was failing him. Tyler's was following after. All the long days in a hospital bed. "Sing to me, Tyler."
"Only if you stay for another three months."
"Ty, you cant black mail liver failure and heart disease."
"I can try."
Tyler sat by Josh's bed. Their last few moments together, fleeting. Josh smiled the whole time, never taking his eyes off of Tyler. "I think i might be in love with you, Tyler Joseph."
"I always was."
Nothing was more deafening than the sound of Josh flat lining, Not the concerts or the arguing or laughter. Nothing
