If We Could Only Turn Back Time

1: The Letters Begin, In Charlie's Perspective

Hi people! So, I'm going to enter the 2012 Watty Awards with a One Direction fanfic. I'm going to post the first chapter now, and uploads in DAWMH are going to be spaced out a little further so I can focus on this. Hope you like it! Remember to VOTE AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND COMMENT AND FAN AND ALL THAT JAZZ. By the way, I'm not sure exactly how brain cancer works. My best friend's mom had it so I'm basing what I do know off her.

XOXO,

Jolie

P.S. Vote!!!

P.P.S. Comment!!!

Charlotte's POV

Dear One Direction,

Hello. My name is Charlotte Silver, but my friends call me Charlie. I am 18 years old and I have cancer, brain cancer, to be precise. The doctors at the hospital I live at have said I have a year to live, and I intend to make the most of that year.

When I first found out I was sick, I was 16. I remember I was listening to your only album, Up All Night, and my head began to hurt. I thought maybe my music was too loud, so I turned it down, but my head was still killing me. I passed out in the middle of More Than This, right after the first chorus.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital. I had apparently been out for three days. The doctors had performed a few tests, and a cancer specialist, Dr. Coney, told me the news as soon as I woke up. I had brain cancer.

The doctors tried to fight it. I went through all sorts of different treatments as my family has quite a bit of money stowed away for this kind of thing. None were as bad, though, as chemo, when I lost my hair. I think that was when it sank in: I could SEE a difference in the mirror, I could tell I had cancer just by looking. I was thin and bald. I was ugly. I ABUSED What Makes You Beautiful on my iPod in that period, trying to bolster my spirits. I actually was suicidal for a while. I thought nothing, not even death and facing hell because of committing suicide, could be as bad as how horrible I felt on earth. I hated my life.

I listened to your only album ever released nonstop right then. I wanted nothing more than for someone to step in and "save my heart", but of course no one came. I slowly got through my suicidal period and was later notified that I had approximately one year left.

As I had already had a few breakdowns, I was moderately accepting of the fact that I was dying. The doctors said that they would stop the chemo treatments and they were just going to try to make me as comfortable as possible.

Since then, I have created a 'bucket list' of sorts. The number one thing on my list was 'Write to One Direction and get a reply.' Originally it was 'Meet One Direction,' but I figured that was too farfetched. The rest is up to you guys: Niall, Louis, Harry, Zayn, and Liam. Even a simple, 'Thanks for writing!' with your signatures would make my... I was going to say year, but I guess in this case, it would make my life.

xoxoxo,

Charlie Silver

I folded the letter and smiled a little as I thought of Zayn, Louis, Niall, Harry, or Liam maybe reading my letter. It really would make my year to actually get a reply. My best friend, Corrie, barged through the hospital door suddenly, squealing.

"Charlie! Eric broke up with Laurel! Okay, I should not be this happy... I meant to say, poor Laurel, Eric broke up with her. HE FINALLY BROKE UP WITH HER!!! Do you hear that, Char? Do you hear the birds singing?! I have the tiniest chance of being with ERIC BOHN!!!" She was screaming, and a nurse rushed in. When she saw Corrie, she looked at me sympathetically, knowing I would have to endure Corrie's screaming for a while.

The nurses and doctors knew Corrie by now. She was a squealer when she got excited, and the news that our enemy had finally been left in the dust by her crush thrilled her to no end.

At this point, she was spinning, hopping up and down. And still squealing. "Cor, slow down. What exactly happened?" I asked her.

"Eric... broke... up...with...Laurel!" As soon as I finally understood what she had said, my jaw dropped. She hopped over and I began squealing with her and bouncing on my bed.

"Take that, Laurel Evans! And that! And that! He's all mine! MINE!" She cackled maniacally.

"Oooh, nice maniacal cackle! Have you been working on it?" I asked her.

"Duh! I gotta do something in my abundant spare time." She replied.

Suddenly, my head began throbbing. I groaned quietly and cradled my head in my hands. The headaches had gotten worse over time- they came more often, lasted longer, and I could barely think when I got them, let alone bounce and squeal.

"Want me to call a nurse, Char?" Corrie asked sympathetically. She was here almost every day, sacrificing her social life for me, and by now knew that I had to wait out the headaches or, if they were really bad, get painkillers from a nurse.

I shook my head, which didn't help the throbbing. This wasn't one of the worse ones. When I had those, I was literally biting back screams, it hurt so bad.

As soon as the headache had come, it was gone, and I felt fine. Of course, I was a little nauseous, but I had been told slight nausea was to be expected after my headaches.

I looked up at Corrie. "I'm okay now. It wasn't a bad one, pretty minor... you know how it goes..."

"Yeah." Of course she did. She was there when I had my worst one and fainted. She was seriously freaking out when that happened.

I looked down at the paper in my lap. "Hey, guess what, dahling?"

"Si?"

"I finished THE LETTER." I exclaimed, deepening my voice like a telivision announcer.

"Corrie needs to review it to make sure you won't scare away OUR BOYS." She replied. Yes, we did refer to One Direction as OUR BOYS. Always in all caps when written, always spoken with a television announcer voice.

I held the letter out to her and she snatched it from my fingers. "Yea huh, yea huh, yea huh, oookay, aaalright, done!" She announced. "Corrie gave it the Corrie Seal of Approval." She gave the letter back and I glanced at the bottom. Sure enough, added to the bottom of the letter were the words in all caps "CORIE SEAL OF APPROVAL".

"Cor, you spelled your name wrong."

"Char, you spelled your life wrong."

"Do you really want One Direction to think you're not smart enough to spell your own name right?"

"Oh, yeah... Here, lemme fix that..." She grabbed the paper again and began busily erasing and rewriting.

"Here we go! Put it in the envelope!" Corrie exclaimed when she was done. She handed it back and I slipped it in the prepared envelope. We then did our version of the District Twelve salute- kissing three of our fingers and pressing them to the envelope and then raising our fingers in the air- and high fived each other. Corrie grabbed the letter and went barreling down the hall to find some hospital personnel to send it off.

When she got back, we turned my small bedside radio on and began carefully surfing stations, looking for one broadcasting a contest. This was pretty much our favorite thing to do while she filled me in on the regular senior year gossip.

By the time she left, I was falling asleep. I got tired really easily these days. I fell into a blissful sleep almost as soon as she walked out the door, dreaming of a little white envelope with a letter inside. I didn't know at the time that that very letter would change the remainder of my life drastically.