If We Could Only Turn Back Time

6: The Rock, Hopefully, In Louis' Perspective

To: charlietheunicorngirl@comcast.net From: loutommo@yahoo.com

Time: 2:09am 5/8/15

My Dearest Charlie,

I love The Hunger Games.

Your question wasn't too personal. I'm not confiding in them because it's about them. You know how happy and like best friendly we have always been like for cameras, twitcams, all that good stuff... In the beginning, it was real. The boys, especially Haz, were the best friends I had ever had. But lately... You have to promise. Absolutely swear you will not post this online or tell a soul. Liam wants his thing to be secret, I want my problems to be secret.

Lou

I stared at the message I had typed out, slowly crossed my fingers, and hit send. Almost immediately, my laptop dinged.

To: loutommo@yahoo.com

From: charlietheunicorngirl@comcast.net

Time: 2:15am 5/8/15

You can trust me. I promise. I have pretty much no friends to tell it to, and I won't even tell Corrie if you don't want me to.

Charlie

I smiled. From our brief time of exchanging letters, I had gathered she would be a trustworthy one. After all, I am Louis Tomlinson. I can judge character like no one else. Hehe.

To: charlietheunicorngirl@comcast.net

From: loutommo@yahoo.com

Time: 2:17am 5/8/15

Thanks. We're falling apart, Charlie. The boys and I are.

I paused to swipe at my eyes as they began to fill with tears. I guess I just wasn't as strong as the boys thought I was. Seeing the words down on paper just made it so... Real. That was it. Real.

Please don't tell Corrie. I want as few as possible to know. Liam's fighting with Danielle. That makes him upset. Him being upset and planning to break up with her makes us upset. And they think I'm going to always be there with a joke to cheer them up, Charlie. They think I am always happy because I wear a mask. And ever since the Eleanor incident, I've been upset. Really upset. I was planning on proposing to her, and then I got that picture from my sister of her and that guy together. Kissing. Was I not good enough? I loved her! I thought she loved me! What did I do wrong?!

You don't have to answer that. I'm just... I'm breaking, that's the term to use. I'm slowly cracking, from the inside out, and no one's noticing. No one. No one cares, really. They "love" me, they think they know me, the fans I mean (not you, you're special), but they don't. I am so much more than a guy who likes carrots and is a little... strange.

I need a rock, Charlie. Can I depend on and confide in you? Please say yes.

I just don't know what will happen if you don't.

Louis

I was, by now, shaking. I was so upset. I closed my eyes to calm down. When I did, I clicked the send button.

And the contents of my heart was sent to Charlie, a girl I barely knew.

But I needed. Desperately needed.