And So It Went

New Normal

"Look Anastasia you are a hard worker, and you are always putting 100% in but we can't allow you anymore days off from work." My boss gave me a annoyed expression, I mean completely understood where she was coming from and I didn't want to be "that person" but I hoped she would work with me a little bit.

I sighed, I really need the days off Sebastian's grandmother was totally against coming to the US if she didn't have too, and the only reasons she did come was for weddings and funerals. I swear I wished I could drop everything at a dime of a hat but if I wanted to live a quote unquote 'normal life', I had to play by the rules.

"Now when you started we were well aware of your situation, and you said it wouldn't be an issue. Now it seems to become more apparent that it is, you ask for these days off and most of the time we give them to you but in reality you haven't been here long enough to even permit half of those days." I knew she was right but that didn't stop me from being somewhat sad. "But we do because... well you know..." I scrunched up my face not really understanding where she was going, if they didn't want me to take so many days of in the past, I would of understood completely. "The Basile are one of our biggest contributors, so we wouldn't want to upset..."

I could feel the bile coming up my throat, I couldn't believe this. This whole time i thought I was doing my very best to blend in, to be normal, to not use whatever little influence I had but it seemed this whole time that was at play. No wonder the few times I so happened to be late no one said as much as a peep, or I never seemed to get constructive criticism during my one on one's; everything was SO passive. "Wait are you telling me.."

She gave me a look confirming but I was just now realizing.

"I quit." I got up abruptly "I can't do this, and it isn't fair you guys or me. I love working here but if you guys honestly feel like because of the family I am marrying into I would use that against you, then I need to not be here. From the beginning I told you guys what I wanted and you all agreed, but it seems like you couldn't look past that and that isn't going to help me grow. I think it's best if I just go."

My boss sighed "Now Anastasia don't be hasty." Her voice suddenly becoming very shaky.

"Don't worry... about your donations I would never do something so awful." She sighed a breathe of relief

"Well if you think that's what best, then I wish you the best of luck." The shakiness completely gone her face now with a smile, as she held out her hand.

I took her hand in mine "Thank you for the opportunity, I really did appreciate it." a sad smile playing on my lips, once we released hand I took off my badge handing it to her, quickly leaving the office before the tears started to appear.

After clearing off my desk of all my personal effects, I left a note in the break room for all of my associate as well as personal notes for the ones I bonded with the most.

*********************************************************

"What can I do to make it better?" Sebastian asked as I nuzzled closer into his body. When he got home I told him what happened and he was kind enough to let me cry into his shirt like the baby I am, and about an hour I was all cried out.

"Nothing..." I muttered into his shirt before turning over and staring at the ceiling. "This is my new normal, and the fact that I thought that it wasn't is naive."

"Babe..." Sebastian said, while pulling me back into his arms. "I'm sorry." I looked to see sadness in his eyes.

"It isn't your fault... I just see the light now. I will never be the same person I was a few years ago, and people will never look at me the same way. I just have to get use to that."