What If

Chapter 45

The day after my talk with Paul, I was feeling much better. I went to sleep and the next morning I had my confidence again. I suppose I just needed to talk it through. Weird. I thought guys weren't into that.

Anyway, I shoved my books into my locker and made my way outside. It was finally the end of the day, which felt longer than ever, and I couldn't wait to relax and unwind at my leisure.

The cold air hit me like a freight train, the school having been a good fifteen degrees warmer than the winter that was happening outside. I tried not to let it bother me though by snuggling myself deep into my coat. It was roughly forty degrees outside Fahrenheit, or about four and a half degrees Celsius. It wasn't nearly as cold as New York could get, but it was still enough to send a chill throughout my entire body. There was a touch of wind too, occasionally whispering against the tree branches as it headed southwest, brushing my hair in and out of my face every now and then.

Just as planned, George was waiting for me on the outskirts of the school property, leaning against the fence, smoking a cigarette. Only the tip was lit and it was still a couple inches long, suggesting he had set it ablaze just then.

"Hey, Colleen," he greeted when he saw me with a grin. He pushed himself off the fence very teddy-boy-like and came over to me, where we began our journey together towards his house, which had become a staple in our Tuesday routine.

"Hey, George," I said, thankful that the little bit of wind there was drifted his smoke in the complete opposite direction.

"So, how've you been feeling these past couple of days?" he asked, taking a big puff of his cigarette.

"I've been alright," I answered. "How've you been?"

He shrugged, taking a nice, long drag and breathing it out smoothly. "I've been alrigh'. It's only been a couple of days. Not much is different."

"Well . . . that party was pretty crazy."

"That party was pretty crazy?" he clarified with a cheeky grin. He chuckled, shaking his head and finishing off half his fag. "You clearly haven't been to many parties." He blew out a long breath of smoke that dissipated quickly in the air. "That was nothing. If you want a crazy party you're gonna have to look elsewhere."

"Well, it was crazy enough for me. I wouldn't want anything crazier if my life depended on it."

He blew out a large puff of smoke and said "Yeah, I guess you had a little bit of a crazier time than most people. I didn't actually see what happened. You left before I saw anything, but Paul found me and told me."

"Oh goody," I squealed sarcastically. I sighed half-heartedly and continued "I was really embarrassed about it for the past couple of days, but then Paul and I talked and I'm feeling a lot better."

He crushed his cigarette butt underneath his foot until a black ash-spot formed on the lighter-colored asphalt. "Good," he responded, with a new cigarette clenched between his teeth. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. You'd be amazed by all the people I've seen end up like that. Even I've ended up like that at least twice, maybe more. And I know for a fact Paul and John have too." He flicked his lighter on and set the tip aflame.

I grinned, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear the weak-willed wind tried to wisp away. "It's good not be alone in this. Though, I'm sure it wasn't a pleasant experience for you either."

"Are you kidding?" he asked, taking a huge puff off his second cigarette. "I was so disoriented that I had no idea what I was saying to whom. But after I came to, I remembered crying to John's girlfriend at the time, Cynthia, asking why everyone else had a girlfriend and why I couldn't have a nice girlfriend like her while vomiting into a toilet. Probably the most embarrassing day of my life."