Trapped

Chapter Twenty: Your Name Brings Pain

She stares at herself in the mirror, turning to look at her wedding dress from different angles. Today is the day. No going back. It's a very big step and one that she has no choice in making. She wasn't expecting to be wearing just a regular dress. She was expecting something more extravagant. Or even just a white dress. But as she stares at herself in the grey ensemble, she can't imagine anything different. Her door opens and a crew member pops her head in.
"They're ready." she says.
"Thank you." Nestor says, wiping the sweat from his forehead with a towel. He had never been so nervous before. This is the first time Norma and Alex kiss so it has to be perfect. Three seasons of sexual tension has led to this very moment. It had to be perfect.
"Nervous?" Vera asks when he reaches the set.
"No." he lies with a smile. She giggles and adjusts his tie for him.
"Tell that to the sweat on your forehead." she whispers before walking away. He quickly wipes his sweat away again and walks to his place next to Vera.
"Action."
The scene around him seems to blur and he feels like he might faint...or puke. And he prays to God that neither happens to him. He wanted to get through this scene. He wanted to kiss her more than he has ever wanted anything else.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Nestor turns to Vera who is playing her part well. His hands cup her cheeks, making her look into his eyes as he slowly leans in. His eyes close slowly and his lips brush lightly against hers. He can feel his control quickly slipping as her lips move against his in a familiar way.
Before he loses his control completely, he pulls away to find her leaning toward him still. Her eyes flutter open and she pulls away again, looking embarrassed.
"Cut!"
"That was...more than perfect. Glad to have you two back to normal." Kerry says with a wide smile.
Vera glances at Nestor who is still breathing heavily. Her lips still tingle from the quick contact with his. Her thoughts turn to Renn. She had never had this reaction when she kissed Renn. No, her body only reacts this way with Nestor.
"Good work. Next scene will be Olivia and Max." Kerry says, releasing the pair. Vera changes faster than she has ever changed before, wanting nothing more than to lock herself in her trailer and figure out what she wants. Or more specifically, who she wants.
Unfortunately, Nestor had different plans. As soon as she gets out of the dressing room, she runs right into him. She turns to leave but he stops her by grabbing her arm.
"Hear me out." he says, pulling her to a corner.
"What are you doing?" she asks, looking around.
"You're making a mistake." he whispers.
"Nestor please. Don't." she whispers, pulling her arm away. She walks outside but he follows, not letting her get away without hearing what he has to say.
"Why are you marrying him?" he asks her, making her stop and turn to him.
"Because I love-"
"You love me. I know you do. I've felt it. You showed me how much you loved me-"
"Nestor, if you think love derives from anywhere but your own mind and heart then you will never have it. Perhaps that's why we didn't work out." she tells him, each word creating a new cut in his heart.
"I know you love me." he tells her again. He can see the pain in her eyes and the yearning to be elsewhere but he refuses to let her leave.
"I'm still waiting for the day that your name doesn't feel like a knife sliding across my bare skin." she says, her voice cracking. His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
"Why would it do such a thing?" he asks.
"When we think other people love us, we give ourselves permission to feel love. But with that, comes an opportunity to feel the worst pain imaginable. The kind of pain that isn't physical. It is inside, a pain in your soul, if you will. And I am still having trouble healing from the pain you caused me." she tells him.
"Your soul knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to just let it. Healing is really just letting yourself feel-"
"Maybe I don't want to feel. Maybe feeling is becoming too hard and I have gone numb. I feel nothing." she says, ignoring the tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Numbness isn't feeling nothing. It's feeling everything all at once and not knowing how to process any of it."
"I'm done with the bullshit, Nestor. I'm hurting. You hurt me. And then I found a way to lessen the pain but he ended up hurting me too. Maybe the world has it out for me or maybe I was just too damn stupid to learn from my mistakes. Well I've learned now. I'm grown up. And I will not let you hurt me again." she says passionately.
"He hurt you?" Nestor asks. Vera laughs bitterly.
"That's what you took from that? That's not the point Nestor." she shouts.
"I know it's not but it is a point. Did he physically hurt you?" he asks.
"Are you focusing on the words coming from my mouth? You hurt me. You did. Nothing can change that-"
"I hurt you." he says, making her stop with surprise.
"I did. I know I hurt you. But I thought I was doing what was best. I hurt you in the process and I am sorry. But I also loved you more than any one has ever loved a person. And all I am asking you for...is a chance-"
"My answer is no." she says before turning on her heel and walking away.

I know many of you will be upset to hear this, but my next chapter will complete this book. I do hope you enjoy this and I thank you for all of the love and support!
XOXO