Raising Madison (The third book in the 'The girl in the attic trilogy')

(11) Raising Madison

Raising Madison

Chapter 11

Brooklyn’s POV

He stared at me, his eyes wide and filled with worry. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have asked him, maybe I should just have kept my curiosity for myself.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” I said, trying to fix the situation. It looked like he was going to freak out at any moment. What could be so bad, I just asked where Madie’s mom is. It’s a normal question for a friend or a baby sitter to ask, isn’t it? He kept on staring at me, making me feel really uncomfortable and worried at the same time.

“Preston?” I asked, not knowing what else to do.

“Yeah,” he replied, finally looking away from me. He sat back against the couch and ran his hand through his hair.

“I… I … I’m sorry, maybe I should just go,” I stuttered, something I haven’t done since I was a kid.

“No,” he breathed and then stopped talking, letting a long silence fall over us. I was about to get up and just leave when he started talking.

“Madie’s mom died right after giving birth to her,” he said and then broke down crying. Oh crap, that is not the answer I expected.

Preston’s POV

I didn’t want to break down but I just couldn’t stop myself, as soon as I spoke those words I overflowed with emotion and I just couldn’t hold back the tears. I didn’t want to cry in front of Brooklyn but that was the least of my worries at that moment because all I could think about was Katie and how much I missed her.

“I’m so sorry,” I heard Brooklyn say but I didn’t pay any attention to her, at least not until I felt her arms wrapping around me. Her touch was soothing but I didn’t want it. I didn’t want her anywhere near me. The only person that is allowed to touch me like that is Katie and she’s not here anymore. She’s dead and nobody else will ever touch me! I pulled away from her and jumped to my feet, wiping my eyes with my hands as I glared at her. Somewhere deep down inside I knew I was being ridiculous but it didn’t change anything.

“Please tell me what I can do to help,” she said, her eyes big with horror and I swear I saw a tear rolling down her cheek but I don’t care. I don’t care about anybody but Madie now that Katie is gone.

“You can leave,” I replied, my voice trembled but I could still hear the venom rolling from it. I flinched at how hateful I sounded but I didn’t dare take back my words. I had to get rid of her. I won’t allow anybody to take Katie’s place. Nobody will ever be able to do that even if they tried.

I watched as she got up and grabbed her bag.  She looked confused and hurt.

“Maybe its better if you don’t call me again,” she said and then disappeared, leaving me all alone. I didn’t want to be alone. If fact, I had no idea what I wanted. I’m just one big useless mess since Katie died and I have no idea what I’m doing. Somehow I just manage to screw things up as I go.

I didn’t bother locking the door or switching off the TV, I just fell down on the couch and cried myself to sleep. I was woken by the sound of Madie crying and quickly jumped to my feet. No matter how horrible my life is I will always take care of my baby. She deserves the best and I am going to give it to her no matter what.

I made my way to her room and scooped her up into my arms. She stopped crying as soon as she saw me and smiled up at me, making me feel instantly better. All I need is my little girl and I’ll be just fine I thought to myself as I made my way to the living room where I locked the door, cursing myself for leaving it unlocked in the first place and then gave Madie her bottle. She took it happily and I reminded myself that it was time that I got her off of it, she was getting older and although she loves her bottle she is going to have to get used to drinking out of her cup. I sighed at though and wished that Katie was here to help me. She would have been such an amazing mother.

Madie drifted off to sleep while she was drinking so I put her back to bed and then headed to my room, feeling tired. I laid down but couldn’t fall asleep as I kept on thinking about what happened earlier in the night. I was already regretting what I did but there was nothing I could do to change it. Brooklyn said it was better if I didn’t call her again and maybe she was right, at least for her sake. I am a complete mess. I sighed and got up, grabbing the box which held Katie’s ashes and then got back into bed, hugging her tightly against me.