Theresa May hates idiots. Especially blubbering working class pieces of shit. That was why she was shocked that her first thoughts upon meeting the small yellow lump called Stuart we're not about his stupidity, but his looks.
Hot damn, she thought in the tone only sexually repressed politicians can manage. I want him in me, she muttered under her breath, blushing when he responded "Bwah da bah" which the translator said meant he wanted that too.
She was shocked by that too. She'd never met anyone else who was into unbirthing. Still, it wasn't that strange, she supposed. He was the perfect size. He'd satisfy her for life and she'd never have to hire a prostitute again.
Stuart, for his part, was surprisingly accepting when he realised she meant all of him and not just his banana.
Oh well. It's be a great story to tell Bob.
