{irreplaceable}

02

I run over to my sister's compartment and collapse dramatically on the seat. "What is it?" She glances up from her book. "How did I not notice how freaking HOT Sirius Black is?" She gasps and puts down the book. "It's about time. The boy's been in love with you since 2nd year. Even longer then James has been pining over me. Screw the Muggle!" She rolls her eyes, and I put my emotions to the side for a minute. "What did the Devil do this time?" I say. She goes on a rampage for the next 15 minutes about how the arrogant prick tried to seduce her into kissing him. I sigh, and run my fingers through my hair- a habit I picked up from James. "I'll talk to him." I say tiredly, and stand up. "Thanks, Kylie. You're the best." She says gratefully, hugging me. "Don't take too long!" She calls as I run out and jog over to the Marauders compartment. I slide the door open with a bang. "Your life just got 1,000 times better as you were blessed with my presence." I say sarcastically. "Look who's arrived." Sirius says dryly. I fake pout. "Now now then, that's not the way to greet your best friend who happens to be a girl, now is it?" They all sigh and come to hug me. "I have a feeling you have an ulterior motive to this." Remus says, glancing up from his book. I sigh and flop down on Sirius's lap. "True that, my friend. Prongs, you've gotta stop bothering Lily. She's getting to be seriously pissed at you. Besides, your flirting skills are absolute RUBBISH. There's many things I could teach you about that." He leans in eagerly. "Would you do that, Ky? Teach me, I mean."  I roll my eyes. "For example...." I trail off studying the room. "Here, I'll show you." I clear my throat, and walk towards the door. I go and sit next to Sirius, brushing my hair behind my ear while smiling shyly. I place my hand closer to his, and make myself appear smaller and cold. He immediately whips off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulder. I respond to which by leaning in closer to him. I close my eyes and inhale. "Woah." James says, mesmerized. I blush, and smirk at him. "That's technically what a girl would do. Hypothetically speaking, of course." Blushing even harder. James raises his eyebrows at me, and gives me a look that says, 'we're talking about this later.' At this point, I'm as red as a tomato. I hop up quickly. "Well, gotta go. I'll see you guys later." I sprint out the door and hear the boys calling my name, but I ignore them. I lock myself in the bathroom. I slam my hands down on the sink and take in a shaky breath. That was close. I redeem myself and run back to my friend's compartment. "Hey, there's my favorite Slytherin friend." Olivia said, putting down her book. "I'm your only Slytherin friend." I say, rolling my eyes. "Guys, I need advice." They immediately become serious and lean in. "Tell us." I explain to them all about Sirius and my new complicated feelings for him and the whole demo in the other compartment. Hope is a good listener, but Olivia keeps butting it.

"NO!"

"You didn't."

"Nope."

"Woah."

Hope cuts me off. "WAIT. That isn't..... his jacket, is it?" I immediately glance down. I still have on Sirius's leather jacket from before, and I can see from the reflection of the mirror that he got 'Padfoot' embroidered on the back. I blush. Gosh, I'm doing a lot of blushing today. "....Maybe." They start squealing, and I repeat the part of the story when he gave it to me. They sigh happily. "I love love stories. You guys were like, made for each other." Hope says. I roll my eyes. "Love's overrated."

"Attention, students. We will be arriving at Hogwarts shortly, please change into your school robes. Your trunks will be taken up to the school separately." We shut the shades and change into our school shirts and ties, but I leave the jacket, my converse, and skinny jeans on. You gotta be a little unique, right? Lily already reminded me that she knew this would happen. But, I have a Muggle boyfriend back home. He's really sweet and I actually really like him. A lot. I shake off Sirius's feelings as shock of his puberty. We take a carriage up together and I avoid Sirius for the time being. Geez, what's wrong with me? Sirius is just your annoying best friend that you've known since you were eleven. He wasn't cute then, and he most definitely isn't cute now. The weird feelings will go away in a few days. I compose myself with a little bit of dignity, and step out of the carriage. Just my luck, the boys are waiting. I see Lily shoot an apologetic look over her shoulder as she runs off with her other friends, Alice and Mary. I walk over to the boys and shrug the jacket off my shoulder. "Why'd you let me walk off with your jacket on, Black?" I say, facing forward but handing it to him without eye contact. James and Peter whistle. "Since when were you on last name terms, 'Black'?" James teases, and Sirius shoves him off. I start walking to the castle and stop when they don't follow. "Well?" They look up from their boy play. "You coming or not?" They hurry to keep up with me and are silent. I can hear them silently bickering behind me as we walk. I spin around. "If you have something to say to me, say it. Don't silently bicker behind my back about who has to ask the question, and then take 30 seconds preparing and rebickering again because the person doesn't want to do it." I say, brushing a lock of my hair out of my face. I imagine my face looks different then usual, because they all shrink back. I sigh. "Let's just go. And no, Sirius, it is NOT my 'time of the month'" I say as Sirius opens his mouth. I hear them bickering again. I spin around for the second time, now frustrated. "What? What on earth is that important?" Peter pipes up. "Why are you so mean and crabby today?" I deflate and run a hand through my hair. "Sorry guys. I'm just really stressed- lots going on, lots to think about. Balancing new things with old things." I narrow my eyes as they look guilty. "Wait, what were you telling Sirius about a pact before?" James speaks as they all glare at him. "Back in second year we may have all made a pact to never date you........" He mumbles. "What? Why? I'm so confused." I start shrieking. "It would be too weird! Too straining on our friendship, too awkward if you guys broke up." I look confused. "Wait, who's you guys?" Realization dawns on my face. "Were you planning on setting me up with--- with that THING?" I shriek, pointing at Sirius. Remus pales. "No no no, Ky, that's the thing- we thought you and Sirius had something going on because you were acting weird in the cabin. And you're acting weird now." He says hurriedly, and I calm down. "No! No way, that was just to show Prongs the whole flirting thing." I say hurriedly. We enter the Great Hall, and I tug Lily's ponytail as we walk by. "Thank for leaving me." I hiss. "Hey Evans, can I do that?" James says hopefully. Her glare is easy enough to read, and he deflates like a ballon. I clap his shoulder. "Tough luck, James." I sit on the other side of the bench next to Sirius and James sits in between Remus and Peter. It's always been like this, it's like our unassigned assigned seats. I stopped sitting with Slytherin a LONG time ago. "Yo Black, ketchup?" I snap my fingers to get his attention. The idiot he is squeezes the actual ketchup into my hand. "I meant the bottle you idiot!" I shriek, rubbing it off on his hair. This time he shrieks, and starts checking his reflection in the back of a spoon. Satisfied, I turn back around and rub my hand off on a napkin. I reach over Sirius and grab the ketchup myself, avoiding the spot where his sticky barbecue paws were. "See that James," I say, squeezing ketchup on my burger, "Wasn't the right thing to say." He leans in. "Tell me how to fix it." "Well, for instance, instead of saying what you did, you could simply walk past her, or just say hello. Simple and straight forward. Go slowly." I offer, eating my burger. He nods and nudges Wormtail. "Doya have a piece of parchment?" I laugh. "This isn't stuff you write down, take notes. It's stuff you learn, have trial & error. Everyone's success is different. Your way will be different for each girl." I say. His brow furrows. "There is one girl. Lily." I laugh again. "I admire your dedication, but you have to let yourself be seen with other girls. Let yourself loose a little bit. All your live you've chased after Lily. Give yourself a break, I'm sure any girl in this room would love to be your girlfriend." I blush. "Except me, of course." He nods and gazes over at Lily. "This is going to take a while, isn't it?" "Yup." I nod happily. "You added about 6 extra months for yourself to undo everything you've done for the past 5 years. And that's being lucky. Knowing my sister, it'll probably take about a year before she can actually look at you and speak to you without seeing red." His jaw drops. "ONE YEAR?" He exclaims, slouching down. "I can't wait that long." He whimpers, and I ruffle his hair. "Hey, you've waited 5 years, you can wait a bit longer." He looks up. "What about you?" I frown. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well, it's 5th year, and you've never dated anyone. You're actually really pretty, and an decent person." Remus points out. I smile at him. "Thanks Rem." I turn back to James. "How do you know I haven't dated anyone?" I say coyly, looking down at my plate. They EXPLODE. "WHAT?" They all scream, and they look as if steam could come out of their ears. "Since when?" Sirius demands. I laugh. "Why does it matter to you guys?" "Come on, Ky, you're like our little sister by now. It's our duty to act as your over protective brothers." James says, ruffling my hair. I swat his hand and fix my hair. "You still haven't answered Sirius's question." Peter points out, and I groan as they all look at me. I dig my brain and look up at the ceiling. "4th year, I went to Slughorn's Christmas party with Amos Diggory. He tried to feel me up afterword, so that didn't last long." I start, and the anger on their faces grow. I groan again. "Guys, you know I can fight by own battles, right? Don't you know me well enough by now that I can duel pretty well? Or do I have to remind you of the incident in 3rd year when I accidentally sent Peter to St. Mungos because he came into the girls bathroom when I was changing?" Peter shudders, and I smile apologetically at him. "After that, I kind of gave up on wizard boys. I've been dating a variety of Muggles for the past summers." I bite my bottom lip, not sure if I want to share with them the fact that I have a boyfriend right now. "I might actually have a boyfriend right now...." I mumble, wincing. Remus is the only one who actually seems happy for me. "Really, Ky? That's great! I can't wait to meet him, do you have a picture?" I smile gratefully at him, and duck to avoid the plate Sirius just threw at me. "Guys, calm down! He's just a guy I met at a concert after we got home from 4th year. He's really sweet!" I try to calm them down. Peter is just pacing back at forth at the bench, pale as snow. He's muttering about untrustworthy Muggle boys. James and Sirius are by far the worst. Sirius is chucking everything everywhere, and James is screaming at me.

"HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THOSE MUGGLE MOVIES? MUGGLE BOYS ALWAYS BREAK YOUR HEARTS. I HAVEN'T EVEN MET THE GUY. HE COULD BE A MASS MURDERER. A CRAZY CHEMIST WHO WILL POISON YOUR PUMPKIN JUICE. WE DON'T KNOW HIM. HE DOESN'T KNOW US. I DON'T APPROVE. HE'S PROBABLY A HOBO WHO LIVES ON THE SIDE OF THE STREET AND IS USING YOU FOR MONEY-" At this point I've had enough, and cut him off. Sirius throws a final cup at me, and I catch it in midair, slamming it down on the table. Everyone is the whole hall is silent. I'm shaking with anger. "A hobo? Really?" I stare at him, and stand up. "SO YOU'RE SAYING, I HAVE NO GOOD JUDGEMENT. I CAN'T HANDLE MYSELF. I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ACTUAL GOOD PERSON AND A MONEY OBSESSED WEIRDO. THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY BODY AND THE BOYS THAT ASK ME OUT. I'VE HAD TONS OF BOYS ASK ME OUT. MUGGLE AND WIZARD. DO I ACCEPT THEM? NO. NO I DON'T BECAUSE I'M NOT A SLUT. I DON'T JUST THROW MYSELF AT ANY BOY JUST SO I CAN SAY I DID. I'M NOT A SLUT, GUYS. AND IF THAT'S WHAT YOUR IMPLYING, THEN FINE. I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND ANOTHER SLUT TO REPLACE ME." I scream at them, and storm out of the hall. I hear some of the Hufflepuffs muttering. "No one should wield their voice with that kind of power." I roll my eyes at this. Lily shoots me an apologetic glance, and I keep a strong face as I storm out, and don't even look back when they call my name. I make it all the way to my Slytherin dorm before I let myself crumble. The dorm's just like it was before I left it. My bed's pushed all the way into the corner, hanging's attached to the ceiling to it forms a little room for me. I share a room with Narcissa Black, Alecto Carrow, and Dahila Greengrass. Narcissa is remotely nice, but Alecto is absolutely horrid. Dahlia I don't really know how she's a Slytherin, but I think she's actually behind most of the nasty and bloody pranks around here, but is really sneaky about it. Everyone pretty much has their own suspicions about her, but no one's brave enough to ask her.

Sirius's POV as she runs out

"-TO REPLACE ME." She screams at me and James, and storms out of the hall. "Kylie, come on, wait!" I yell after her, and Remus sighs. "You guys REALLY screwed up this time."  I slam myself back down onto the bench, and rest my head in my hands.

"What have I done?"