Leisen's Journal

Entry

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote but things have gotten a lot better for me. I might not even have to write a journal anymore because I'm beginning to feel like I'm in a better place. I mean, I'll write every so often but not as much as I did even though it wasn't that often haha

Paige is sick and she's no longer with Will (that's a long story and quite frankly, I don't have the energy to write about that!). I'm there for her 100% through everything. I want her to get better, she's my best friend, my family. I don't want to lose her. I want her to make it through like I know she can and I want her to find someone and happy. I've realized through this all that I have never loved her as more than a friend. I thought I did and it seemed right but it isn't.

I'm falling in love with someone else actually, her name is Lexi. She's that friend from wattpa or whatever the fuck you call it. I talk to her a lot on it, she's just so... I don't know, special. She's unique and fiesty and I love it. I've been getting to know her and god she's perfect for me. I've never met a girl I click with. I always want to talk to her. She's caring, funny, kind, fiesty, strong, athletic, sweet, and she's a fighter. She's everything. I can't find one single flaw. I'm drawn to her. I was from the moment I started flirting with her and I'll admit that at first I just wanted to toy with her but now I want more. I want something from this. Not sex, just something serious. I've seen her pictures and I've never seen anyone more gorgeous than her. She's perfect. I want her to want me. And truthfully, I can feel that she is attracted to me or something of the sort. I've never wanted anything so badly. Mom says she's never seen me smile like I do when I'm talking to Lex. And I can believe it. That girl just.. I don't know. She makes me feel like me. She accepts me. She is always with these guys though and I get jealous. They get to be near her, they get to hear her beautiful voice. They get to just see her. I don't. It hurts me. She's sick too and it tears me up inside because she's an angel and angels don't get sick. No angel like her deserves to be sick, or mistreated. She only deserves the best. Which is why, if she ever becomes MY angel, I will promise to always protect her, to always make her smile and laugh, to always let her be herself and to always treat her with respect.

God.... I sound like a lovesick puppy. What the hell is this girl doing to me?

-Leisen