Leisen's Journal

Entry #4

Dear Journal,

Paige called today. Her and Will are in British Columbia now. She was happy and sounded like she was having the time of her life. I didn't get the chance to talk to him, not that I want to. I still don't trust him with her.

She kept going on and on about this book writing website that she's been going on. She said there was some really nice people on it, like her new best friend Lexi. She said Lexi helped her make a big decision, to lose her virginity. And she went through with it. She lost her virginity to Will. They haven't really been dating that long either. I'm not disappointed in her. I'm just shocked that he was able to get her to trust him so easily and quickly. I'm not sure I'm a fan of this Lexi chick, considering they've never met and that she helped Paige make the decision. However, I am glad Paige is making more friends. She needs more girlfriends in her life.

My mom has been busy with her new husband, my new step dad. I wouldn't necessarily call him new. He's been in my life since I was 5. That's almost 14 years. He was my dads friend. I'm not sure I like him. He dictates basically everything I do. He wants me to become either a doctor or a lawyer. And I have to go along with it to make both him and my mom happy. Even though, I think I want to be a teacher. I've decided to go along with a lawyer. I think I can do it because I'm insanely stubborn.

My nightmares have calmed down. They aren't as bad and I've cut down on my alcohol intake again. I'm making progress. And I think I've met a girl that I actually kind of like. I'm not sure I trust her but I want to try and see where it goes. We've already had sex and I'm ashamed of that. But I'm going to try.

I want to go to Paris soon to see my grandma. I haven't seen her in a long time and I need to see her. She is an amazing grandma. I want to take Paige with me but I don't think she'll end up coming with me now that she has Will.

I got into a fight today with Wyatt too. It started off with a disagreement because he thinks I tried to get with the girl he's trying to start a relationship with. I would never do that to him and he knows that. I guess we are both on edge because we both have feelings for Paige and are upset that she picked Will.

I really hope she comes back soon. I need her to help me deal with my anger.

-Leisen