Leisen's Journal

Entry #5

Dear Journal,

Paige is engaged. Will and Paige got engaged. I can't believe this. She's too young. And he's just using her. I know it. She's got more money than his family does and I know he's money hungry. He's going to marry her so that he can get half of it when they separate. I am certain of this. And I know he is still in love with Christina. I know he is. He still talks about her and about how they were going to have such an amazing future together. I don't want her hurt. He knows she's been through hell. And he's going to make it worse for her.

I'm not sure if I can say anything to warn her. I want to but I don't know if I should. I want her happy but I don't want her to get hurt.

That girl I talked about and I slept together again. Well, more than once in the past few days. I'm trying to start a real relationship and it feels like for the first time I found a girl that only wants sex.

I've slept with a lot of girls here. They all call me the "Sex God" because

I'm so good at pleasuring them. I don't mind the sound of it. I like the ring of it, "Leisen: The Sex God." Sounds pretty deadly when you think about it.

My mom and I are starting to make plans to go to Paris. My step dad can't go because he has to work. I want to visit dads grave in the cemetery when we get there. I want to bring him fresh flowers and I need to talk to him about all this. I miss him a lot.

I had a dream last night. A nightmare actually. It was real though. It actually happened. It was the day he was killed. I woke up in a cold sweat and with tears streaming down my face. My counselor says it could be stress bringing everything up. I don't really know it that's what it is. What I do know is I want the dreams to stop. They are like a slap in the face each and every time.

-Leisen