Dear Journal,
Paige left with Will. I'm not a fan of him even though I've known him for my whole life. I know how he is with girls. I'm afraid he's going to hurt her. He's the first guy that she's let in and I don't want this to blow up in her face. I need her to be able to trust people and open up. I know he still has feelings for his ex. I know he does. I know he is going to hurt my best friend. I warned her but she's stubborn. And she is falling for him. It hurts. And I know she deserves ten times better than both me and him.
I'm doing okay emotionally now. Writing has helped a little. And so has working out with her. Working out lets me get my aggressions out. And it helps me get ready for football season. It keeps me strong so I know I can protect my friends, my mom and Paige. Being strong keeps me from worrying about being able to protect them.
My drinking has gone down. I'm not drinking as much as I used to and I'm not doing stupid things. I'm starting to make better choices. I guess going to rehab twice has really helped with my drinking habits. What it hasn't helped with is my sex addiction. Although, I wouldn't call it a sex addiction. I only went to rehab for sex addiction because I need help learning how not to use girls' bodies to help me feel better. I'm not as bad but I still need to learn. I'm on the road to getting better. I'm starting to feel better about myself.
I still street fight. I like fighting. It gets my anger out. I don't feel bad about hurting the people I'm fighting. They know what they are getting into when they agree to fight me. Fighting makes me feel like I know how to protect people. It relieves me of my stress and anger. It helps me find my release. It keeps me alive sometimes.
-Leisen
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Leisen's Journal
RandomA journal that I, Paige, found in his stuff. He wrote some beautiful things and I thought the people who knew him should get the chance to read it too.
