This book is going to be written in a combination of Hindi and English or as we like to call it..Hinglish.
So if you speak Hindi, Urdu or Punjabi, this book is definitely for you.
Kya aap rishtedaaro se peedit hai?
Kya aapke parents aapko nahi samaj...
Jab bhi Ghar me koi shaadi Hoti hai, hamara sab rishtedaaro se milna ho jaata he. Inme Vo rishtedaar bhi aate hai jinka ya to kabhi Naam hi na suna ho, ya phir Vo jinhone Hume tab dekha ho jab hum diaper pehna karte the.
Inme sabse irritating Hoti hai aunties. Aur in aunties se jab hamari mulaqat Hoti hai to Vo kuch is Tarah Hoti hai..
Aunty 1 : when you don't even know who she is
Aunty : Arey! Kitni Badi ho gai hai ye, Dekho to? Pehchana mujhe
Me : ji? Umm..Nahi aunty
Aunty : Arey! Maine bohot khilaya hai tumhe bachpan me. Me tumhari favourite aunty hua krti thi. Tumne ek baar meri godi me susu bhi kia tha (like you needed to say that out aloud in front of all these people). Pehchana mujhe? (Ya, ya, of course. Don't you know I have a list of all the people I peed upon as a child?)
Me : nahi, aunty.
Aunty : Chalo koi baat nhi. Vaise bhi tum bohot Choti thi us time pe. Sirf 6 mahine ki hi to thi
And I am like :
I mean, are you freaking serious? Jis Umar me mere daant bhi nhi aaye the aur mene bolna bhi nhi seekha tha. Us Umar me aap mujhse ummeed krte ho that I'll remember your face as well as the fact that I peed on you?
Like, seriously? SERIOUSLY???
***
Aunty 2 : jo is fact se nahi ubhar paati hai ki bachche Umar ke Saath Saath bade bhi hote hai
Aunty : Arey! Ye to kitni Badi ho gai hai!
Me : haha..hanji. (smiles awkwardly)
Aunty : kitne Saal ki ho gai beta?
Me : ji aunty, bees Saal ki.
Aunty : BEES SAAL???? (Cool down woman, it's not like I told you that you are about to die, for God's sake!) Humne jab dekha tha, tab to ye 2 saal ki hi thi. ( Haan toh aapne dekha bhi to mujhe 18 Saal pehle tha na, Keh to aise rahe ho jaise me ek din me hi 18 Saal Badi ho gai) Itni Badi kaise ho gai ye?
Me : Kya Karu na aunty, aur koi option hi nhi tha mere pas. Ab bees Saal Baad bhi agr me aapke upar susu krti Rehti to achcha nhi lagta na.
*** Aunty 3 : the desperate match maker!
Aunty : Arey, aapki beti to Badi Sundar nikal aai hai? Kitni Umar hai iski?
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
Mom : nahi nahi, Abhi to padhai karke ek Naukri kr le ye, uske Baad sochenge shaadi ke baare me.
Me :
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
Aunty : achcha achcha. Vaise, mera beta Infosys me Naukri krta hai. Bada hi handsome hai.
Me :
ओह! यह छवि हमारे सामग्री दिशानिर्देशों का पालन नहीं करती है। प्रकाशन जारी रखने के लिए, कृपया इसे हटा दें या कोई भिन्न छवि अपलोड करें।
Aunty : ( still keeps trying and failing) chori ke case me andar ja Chuka hai lekin bohot hi sanskari hai. Daaru shaaru peeta hai par bhagwan ka pujari hai. Chaar girlfriend ghumata hai par bada sanskari hai. Kya khayal hai aapka.
Me : (mentally communicates with mom) "I dare you to say yes! Me aapka khoon hu mummy, mana kar do..Mana kar do!"
Mom: achcha. Lekin hamari beti to apne Marzi se hi shaadi karegi.
Aunty : (turns to me hopefully)
Me : (moves away and starts living on mars)
***
I'm sure, most of you have encountered at least one of these aunties. If you find it relatable or if it made you laugh then please vote and comment to share your experiences!
