burn || bws

chapter one || "pretty girl"

I pushed my way through the large crowds of the club, the blood in my veins turning cold and my hands shaking with anger. See, having bipolar makes me feel in extremes; when I'm happy, I glow, when I'm sad, I'm depressed, when I'm angry, I'm fuming and when I love, I love with everything in me and every beat of my heart.

Maybe one of the many reasons I'm scared of love, when I'm heartbroken I'm completely shattered. Yet today, after seeing my boyfriend cheat on me right in front of my eyes, I wasn't sad for I had prepared myself for this moment as soon as I layed my eyes on him. He was trouble and that enticed me.

Not one bit of me was sad, my entire body was overflowing with anger like it was some sort of volcano and right now I couldn't control myself and needed a fix of whatever I could get my hands on.

Newcastle was a fairly rough city, you never knew what or who could be lurking behind corners ready to pounce. You would also often see stars out and about after concerts, it was never rare here which is probably why they came here the most because no one bothered them and treat them like a real human.

Taking the cigarette out of its box and lighting it proved to be harder than it looked with hands shaking like an earthquake but I had still managed, I would have taken one of my prescribed pills but I didn't think I would need them but in reality I always need them, I never know what emotion I will be feeling.

To me it's like a game, try and guess the exact emotion I would be feeling before it takes over my body like a rollercoaster.

"They can kill you." A voice says from behind me, not scaring me one bit but if I was any other normal person I would have jumped out of my skin.

"Don't fucking patronise me." I scoff, taking a drag probably much to his dismay.

"Easy there pretty girl, don't bite my head off."

I simply just show him my middle finger yet still stay in the presence of him, for whatever reason that I have yet to figure out.

My breathing was uneven and my hands were still shaking like mad as my fingernails begin to dig into my right hand, desperate to give something or someone pain. The images of Jacob kissing another girl with his hand down her pants flashing into my mind, making my heart beat quicken and my head to rush.

"You look angry." He points out, finally coming into my vision. "Care to tell me why?"

He was attractive, well he was actually fucking beautiful but I would never admit it. With his brown curly hair to alluring chocolate gaze and his facial features, he was the definition of perfect.

"Care to fuck off?" I retort, taking another long drag allowing the tar to pollute my lungs.

"Look, sometimes talking about it makes you feel better. Don't think I want to hear your life story, pretty girl, I just want to calm you down because I'm scared you could kill me with your bare hands right now." He tells me, also looking me up and down to which I pull a face at.

I probably did the exact same thing to him but the difference is he was probably use to it.

"My boyfriend cheated on me!" I shout, dropping the cigarette and punching the brick wall I was previously leaning on, no pain shot through my body like it should do, however my body was to filled with anger and adrenaline to feel anything but that right now.