Balancing love

I know why i'm alone

I just wore my sports bra and black swim bottoms into the pool. I took off all my makeup so it wouldn't smudge in the water. We were all having fun in the water until things took a turn for the worst. Tessa heard us being noisy and came down from her editing to play with us in the water. She was wearing a light violet bikini. "Nice abs Tessa!" Jake said to her. She giggled. Later on Erika got home from her photo shoot and and got into an all black bikini. "Look at that summer body!" Tristan yelled. "And that thigh gap girl!" Tessa said to her. Looking at Erika and Tessa I can't compare. I don't have remarkable abs or an amazing thigh gap. They have flawless skin without makeup and I have spots of acne all over. All these insecurities came rushing to my head. I calmly got out of the pool and went inside. As soon as I got to the stair case I ran up it. I got to my room and I felt dizzy. The fact that I probably didn't drink enough water today didn't help. I went into that bathroom and put my hands on the counter to keep myself from falling. I looked at my bright red face in the mirror and realized that this is the reason I had no friends. I wasn't attractive enough. There's nothing I could have done about that. But I need to keep these friends. I need to cover up. I went back into the room and put on a hoodie. It was so hot I thought I was going to pass out. I took out a concealer stick and started putting it all over my face when Ivan walked. "Ane! Why are you wearing a hoodie it's like a sauna in here." I turned around to reveal my crying face. "What wrong?" He said and pulled me into a hug. I latched on to him and we slowly sunk to the ground. When I was calm he looked at me. "Are you ok?" He said concerned. "Yeah I'm totally fine." I said wiping a tear from under my eye. "Tell me what's wrong." He said grabbing a piece of my loose hair and tucking it behind my ear. When he did that I wanted to spill all my guts to him right there! "First let me take off this hoodie." I said and started getting up. I got up and took my hoodie of and sat on my bed. He came out of the bathroom and sat next to me. "What's wrong." He asked me again looking into my eyes. "It's nothing really. It's silly." I said looking at the ground. "It's obviously not silly because you are clearly not laughing." He said. "I just feel self conscious around Tessa and Erika. They are models and have perfect body's and flawless skin and I'm just not that at all. I'm not as pretty as they are." I said. I covered my mouth shocked at the word barf that had just came out of my mouth. He just looked at me and shook his head. "Don't ever say you're not as pretty as them. You're gorgeous. I personally like that you don't have a "model" body because you aren't what the photographer wants. You're not what the swim wear company wants. You're what you want." He said and looked into my eyes again. I looked at his lips and thought how much I could just lean in and kiss him. Am I falling for Ivan? "Thanks Ivan." Is all I was able to spit out. "Meet you out there?" He asked standing up and putting his hand out to help me up. "Yup." Then I realized that he had my concealer all over his right shoulder. "Wait!" I said laughing and pointed at it. He has been in LA for a few months soaking in the rays and so he's much tanner than me. I haven't even been here for a week. I went to the bathroom to grab a washcloth and wipe him off. I came back and started to slide the cloth over his skin. "Please don't tell anybody about this." I said. "That you gave my shoulder a sponge bath?" He asked. "No about the whole crying thing." I said. "What crying thing?" He replied. "Thanks." I said. "But if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here. Don't ever think that you aren't enough." "Okay. I think I got it all." I said standing back up. "I'll meet you down there I'm just going to wash up and get something to drink." I said. "Okay" he said and left to go out to the pool.
I washed the concealer off and rinsed my face with cold water. I went down to the kitchen and got some water. Then I went back outside to face everyone. They were all very loud and didn't notice me come out. Except Ivan. He came up to me and whispered in my ear "you look beautiful."
Hope ya like it. The next few chapters are crucial for Ivan's and Ane's relationship. I'm super excited to write them!😫🎀👽