Don't Break Me

Chapter 16

Jason's POV:

Justin had just excused himself from the table and run off towards his room. I looked to his mum a little confused by his random exit. I noticed her mood had changed from vibrant and happy to sad. I heard her sigh, but almost as a groan. She sat with both her hands by her head just looking down at the table. I moved my right arm towards her arm and took hold of her forearm. She looked up at me with a dull smile and I noticed tears welling up in her eyes. "Is everything okay?" I asked actually feeling for her.

"Yes... no... I don't know Jason but that boy isn't my little boy. He has changed so much lately. He doesn't talk to me as much, he always seems tired, he never eats properly and he always just seems sad." She spoke sadly, letting tears fall from her eyes. She looked at me and smiled gripping onto both my arms firmly. "You are a good person Jason. You are the only friend of Justin that I have seen over here in so long. You took really good care of him yesterday and even coming over today. Thank you so much for being there for him Jason."

I felt something wash over me. My heart and stomach had a weird pain go through them. For some reason I almost wanted to tell his mum the truth. But I couldn't. "Um...Uh yeah Justin and I are pretty close. I always look out for him at school," I lied avoiding looking into her eyes.

"I might go and check on him, I worry when he does this kind of thing," she spoke softly. She was about to stand to her feet when I jumped up from my seat. "Uh why don't I go check on him for you? It is the least I could do after you made me a delicious lunch," I said smiling at her. She nodded her head in approval and mouth 'thank you,' as I exited the room. I stopped when I was out of her sight and stood in my place trying to arrange my thoughts. I'm Jason fucking McCann, why the hell do I suddenly feel so bad about what I have done to this fag. I ran my hands through my hair and muttered the word fuck. I made way to the faggot room, still not knowing how I will react when I see him. I went to open the door but it was locked. I knocked and called out, "open up," but was met with no reply. I took a few steps back and ran to the door shoulder first, forcing the weak lock mechanism to open the door. I looked around but saw no sign of him. My ears quickly picked up on the sound of barely inaudible sobs, followed by silence. I walked to the bathroom door and place an ear up against it. That's when I heard the sound of giggling. I was beyond confused at this point and could only ponder what he was doing in there. I knocked on the door loudly. I heard a gasp as I called out in a raspy tone, "Justin."

Justin's POV:

I stood there in silence, unsure of what to do. The razor was still in my hand, against my arm. Blood was trickling down from the cuts, down my hand and to the ground. I quickly ran the sink tap and placed the razor underneath, doing my best the wash off the blood. I placed the razor back into its hiding pace and looked down at the ground. I saw drips off blood staining the white tiles. I grabbed a dirty shirt from the hamper and quickly ran it along the tiles, mopping up all the blood drops. I went to open the door before I remembered that my arms were still exposed. I don't have time to cover or wash the cuts so I just pulled down my jumper sleeves so that my fingers were only just poking out. I took a deep breath and opened the door. I gasped and looked at him wide eyed.

"What are you doing in there?" Jason asked looking behind me into the bathroom. I prayed to myself that I cleaned up all the evidence. I moved to try to block his vision of the bathroom.

"U-um I w-was j-just u-using t-the t-toilet?" I said trying to convince myself of the lie. Jason just looked at me blankly before looking to my arms. I quickly put them behind my back and moved my eyes around the room to avoid his.

"And you cry and then giggle while using the toilet?" He asked raising both eyebrows and trying to read my face for any signs of the truth. I knew he knew something was up but couldn't think of any excuse that would make him stop asking questions. "Why did you move your hands behind your back? Are you hiding something?" Jason asked taking a step closer to me. I backed up but didn't really have anywhere to go. I looked to the bedroom door and planned to exit through there. All I would need to do is side step Jason and run to the door. I licked my dry lips looking from the door, to Jason and back to the door. I took a step to the side, darting my eyes between Jason and the door. I took my chance and made a dash for the door. But within two seconds Jason had firmly taken grip of my right arm, the one I had just cut on. I dropped to my knees and hissed in pain. I let out a groan as I tried to wriggle free of his hold, but obviously that was not going to work. "Stop moving!" He spat making me give up the struggle and drop down. I looked the ground and started to cry.

"J-Jason b-be-before y-you l-look j-just p-please p-promise m-me t-to n-not t-tell m-my m-mum," I somehow managed to started between taking breaths while crying. Pain was shooting through my arm as he still had a tight grip on it. I looked up to him with a wet face. "P-pl-please j-just p-promise m-me." I said before starting to cry even more. Jason looked down at me and confusion as well as an emotion I couldn't pick up on took over Jason face. His light blue eyes looked down at me wide. He nodded his head once. I looked back down to the ground and continued to cry.

Jason's POV:

What was he on about? What I am not supposed to tell his mum? I looked down at the mess of a boy in front of me. He had deep and rapid breaths, whilst letting out painful cries. I don't know what went over me, but when I nodded to him, I meant I wouldn't tell his mum. I was shocked at what was transpiring in front of me. I had a hold of his right arm in my right hand as he tried to run past me for the door. I knew he was hiding something but I just didn't know what. Using my left hand I peeled back the sleeve of his grey hoodie. I immediately saw blood. I pulled the sleeve all the way to his elbow and just stared at his forearm.

"What the fuck," I whispered under my breath. I was taken aback. I literally did not what to do or say. There was dozens and dozens of cuts from the top of his elbow all the way down to his wrist. Some were old and scarred, others were still in the healing process. But I counted at least four that had only just been done. Blood was still oozing out of them and running down his arm. I grabbed hold of his other arm and pulled the sleeve up on that as well. Even more scars marked that arm as well. I took a step back from him and just looked at him in total disbelief. He slowly raised his head to make eye contact with me. I looked at him and didn't realize, but tears had built up in my eyes and were running down my face. My heart sank and stomach flipped.

"I'm sorry Justin," I spoke before running out of the room and out of his house.

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