Two Sides of The Same Coin (Merthur)(Discontinued)

Doubts

Arthur's POV: 

The ten knights selected set out at first light the next morning. It was impossible to pretend I wasn't tired, even on the verge of collapse, but if I couldn't at least ride to a castle for Merlin, what kind of a friend would I be? And anyways, I pushed myself every day during training, why couldn't I just push myself a little bit extra today?

With a grunt, I mounted myself onto the saddle of my horse. The leather straps around the horse's middle were loose... Well looser than they ought to be anyhow. I could feel the saddle moving underneath me just a tad too much. Merlin always got it right. He always knew exactly how I liked my saddle tightened, or my food prepared. Sure, he often forgot to do it, but at least he knew. There was no Merlin right now. That was why I had to get him. 

With a kick to the horse's sides, I started forward, gesturing to my companions to follow me. With a small group of very able men, we went faster than we had the first time, although we were a little bit spread out at the same time. I was at the front, in front of the others by a long shot. Rowan was the only objection. He was directly behind me the entire ride. 

He even offered to set up my tent when we finished riding for the day. Even though I expressingly told the boy not to touch it, and that I could put up the tent myself, he completely ignored my instructions. On my way back from gathering water from a creek a little while down, I found two tent fully erected and a fire beginning to burn. 

Then there were the other knights beginning to filter into the area. My own knights of Camelot first, followed by the knights of Caerleon. There was a small spark of pride at the fact that my people worked harder to get here faster. Then I remembered that finding Merlin was more important to my people. They all had more to lose than the Caerleon knights. 

And still, Gwaine was chatting non-stop in a happy, cheerful tone. How could he possibly be smiling when Merlin was in such trouble? But then again, Gwaine was Gwaine, and chances were that he only smiles and chattered to put himself and the other in a better spirit. Nobody really minded too much this time. Only, I couldn't stop thinking about Merlin. 

How was he? What was he doing right now? Was Merlin hurt? Was he in pain? What was Morgana doing to him? He was probably sitting alone in some dark cell, with no company, nothing to eat. Merlin-My Merlin was probably scared to death, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

The food was being passed around now. It was warm, at least, but elsewise it looked like goo with a tiny bit of meat added in. Merlin would have cooked it better. 

With a sigh, I stood up from my seat and left, going back up to the creek small creek and sitting down on it's gravelly bank. I remembered setting camp near here last time we rode out to the same place. Merlin had been with us that time. Merlin... 

 I spent the next hour or so daydreaming about Merlin as I watched the bright orange ball that was the sun retreat behind the treeline. The sun was so beautiful. I almost hated it for that. Why should beauty exist right now in my life? If Merlin wasn't here, how did the sun have a right to be beautiful? It should leave now, I honestly didn't want to have to see it anymore. 

A hand on my shoulder shocked me out of my gloomy, selfish thoughts. I looked up to see who it was that had interrupted me from my thoughts, only to see the short stubble, long hair, and hazel eyes of Gwaine. He didn't wear his usual ear-to-ear grin at the moment, but his lips were upturned in a small, comforting, smile. 

 I nodded at him, too tired to even attempt an actual smile. With that done, I looked away to stare back across the water. I vaguely registered Gwaine sitting down besides me, and putting his arms over his knees. 

"He's strong, Arthur. You shouldn't worry so much about him, he'll be okay when we find him," I still didn't look towards the other man. 

"Well, we can hope, can't we?" I didn't mean to sound so bitter. Really, I didn't, but even to me the words sounded angry and pained. Gwaine didn't seem to mind much, though, and he just leaned back more and seemed to be more comfortable in the situation. 

"Come on, Arthur. Merlin has a knack of surviving tough situations, we all know that. Trust him, yeah? He'll be alright in the end." I nodded. When did I ever stop trusting Merlin? He could do this much, I knew he could. 

"Yeah, you're right Gwaine," For the first time, I wondered if I would have replied differently had I been talking to Merlin himself. I always knew that he was my go-to-person with problems or troubles I had. Merlin was the one who always listened, no matter what else was happening in his own life. That's why he was so perfect, so wonderful. That why i needed him so much. Had I been talking to Merlin, would I have expressed my uncertainties more? Would I have spoken more in general? 

"Maybe you want to go to sleep, Sire? We plan to ride again at dawn, those of us that aren't drinking tonight, anyways" Finally, Gwaine cracked one of his trademark grins. 

"Just try not to make too much of a ruckus." He smiled again, but I did realize he hadn't replied. I wasn't an idiot, after all. 

Within moments Gwaine was on his feet, extending a hand towards me. I took it, as it would have been rude not to, and was hoisted onto my feet. It was a short walk back to the campsite, but we got there, and the men who weren't going to drink were in their tents, preparing for sleep. 

"Sweet dreams, Sire"

Author's Note: Hello, wonderful people. Today I have an addition to the deal I've given you for commenting on the last couple chapters. Make me smile in your comment. Tell me what you enjoy, or what you don't, but make me smile and I'll post the next chapter dedicated to you. I'm not asking for a joke, I'm asking for an actual comment, but one I'll enjoy reading.

I hope you enjoyed! I loooove you all!