Two Sides of The Same Coin (Merthur)(Discontinued)

Tessrach

When we arrived back to Camelot, I still felt surprisingly anxious. I had hoped that the skirmish in the forest was the thing my magic had been warning me about, but why, then, would I still be so worried? When we were leaving the woods, I had felt light, happy, carefree, as if the danger had passed, but as soon as we passed through the gates, it came back, stronger than before. It had felt like somebody punching me in the gut, that realization. It had actually hurt, and the pain felt physical, even though it was obviously a mental one.

Arthur and I had just ridden through the gate when it happened. There were a couple people there, nodding and smiling at us. I knew most of them, and the others recognized me easily as the king's servant. My eyes passed over the small crowd of people who were heading in or out of the city, and I felt a large grin spread over my face. I loved watching people, with their smiles and cheerfulness, going about their daily life, as if nothing was the matter with the world. I even agreed with them at the moment... but the next moment I saw her.

It had been years, but that face was one impossible to forget. It was round and childish, eyes wide with feigned innocence. Her eyebrows were thin and long, and her complexion was pale, like mine, but with a blush that never left her cheeks. Her nose was slightly too large, but that didn't take anything away from the girl's beauty. Especially after seeing that smile. It used to light up all of Ealdor, when those perfect lips parted. Just seeing the childish glee on her face, made everyone want to join along with her smile, or laugh. She looked no different now than she had all those years ago,  and that must have been at least seven years ago. She wore a light blue dress, with a darker bodice. A couple strands of her hair fell over her face, and when we met each others eyes, the lightest of smiles touched her lips.

Just then was when the pain came. A pounding in my head that made my entire body feel like it was on fire. I hardly even noticed that I was pulling back my horse, until Arthur seemed to be much further away then before. I wanted to go catch up with him, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in place, staring at the girl, not noticing myself shaking. There was so much pain, in my head, in my stomach, all over, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even move.

"Merlin?" I heard Arthur's voice ask, but I couldn't answer. I couldn't tear my gaze away from her, but the strangest thing was that I hadn't even seen her eyes flash the golden color that meant she was casting a spell. It was me. There was something wrong with me.

Finally, I felt myself stop shaking. I didn't notice my eyes closing, just that there was sudden darkness, and I never felt myself falling off of the horse. Everything was just quiet.

I don't think I woke up. I only heard them speaking. Their voices were full of worry and confusion, but I could still make most out.

"Gaius, what's wrong with him?" Arthur. Arthur was here, standing over my bed. Or at least, I thought that I was lying down, maybe not. Still, Arthur being here made me strangely happy. It meant that he cared, even though he would never say it to my face.

"I don't know." That was Gaius. His usually calm, neutral voice, was masked with confusion, but I would recognize him anywhere. There was a rustling sound, and suddenly Gaius's voice was next to my ear.

"Merlin. Merlin, do you hear me? I need you to wake up, Merlin. Just open your eyes." I tried to, I really did, but it took so much energy. The darkness of unconsciousness was weighting down on me, trying to drag me back under to that comfortable place where it was all quiet, happy dreams, but I knew I couldn't. Gaius wanted me to wake up. Arthur needed me to wake up, especially with her around. I really only had one choice, and that was to continue struggling.