There's something about how she smiled at me at that moment. I've got to admit that it caught me off guard because it was a familiar smile but I couldn't place it. I brushed it off and continued walking toward the strip, with her hand in mine. It surprised me that she let me hold her hand and only let go when we reached the Fountains of Bellagio and she leaned on the railing.
All the lights were still up on The Strip but there were less people walking about. Some were probably holed up in the clubs or already snoring their drunkenness in hotel lobbies and hallways. I watched her stare in wonder at the dancing water and lights. She smiled in the beginning but her face turned melancholic, as if she remembered a sad memory.
"Five years ago, I wished to find love here."
Oh, she's opening up.
"Funny, me too."
I felt her glance in my direction but I kept staring out to the fountain.
"You had the same wish? Five years ago." She asked.
I turned to face her. "Not exactly, but yeah," I said smiling at her, then pointed at the opposite end of the fountain. "There. I was standing there when I wished to find happiness here."
"That's cool. I thought I was the only crazy person who'd wish here when we--"
"Can't even throw in a penny or something."
We laughed after saying it at the same time.
"So, did you get your wish?" She asked.
"Well, I can't really say yet," I paused to stare at her face, "I am hoping, but I think I'm too late." I looked away before she could catch me staring.
"How about you?" I asked nonchalantly, although if she's getting married soon, the answer would be yes.
"Yeah..."
I knew it.
"After I made a wish, I started walking toward there where you were to meet with my sister, her boyfriend and his friend. But I couldn't see them so I rummaged through my purse for my phone so I could call. I bumped into a guy. He made my wish come true."
It's hard to miss her sad smile while telling me this, but I figured she might freak out if I just suddenly hug her or something. So I just stayed quiet and let her continue.
"And then he's gone. I got my wish but I lost it too."
"Oh."
"He was my first love. Everything was so perfect. Then one day, it all just ended. Poof. Gone."
"Hmmm... do you still love him?"
"You know that's a really good question. A part of me thinks yes, but at the same time I don't want to hold on to it because I do want to move on. But you know, when you lose someone, it's like a part of you is lost too. It doesn't even matter if it's a thing, a person, a pet. Loss, in any shape or form changes you. When I lost him, I felt like I lost a chunk of my world. He left a gaping hole in my heart, the spot that he occupied for the longest time. I couldn't do anything to fill the spot. I couldn't find a replacement. So until now, a part of me still feels empty, after all this time. And it scares me shitless that this emptiness will never go away."
But, aren't you getting married?
I almost blurted it out, but her tears were suddenly streaming down her beautiful face. I've already caught a couple of them when she realized that she was crying and hastily wiped them with the back of her hands.
