Only for Carter

Chapter 6 - So Many Questions

Whats worse than self-harming, is when people find out. The look they give you, like you're some kind of lost puppy, most people judge you. The first thing that pops up in their pea of a mind, is they are looking for attention. Like who are they to judge, they don't know the pain I have been through. All they can see is my cover. The outer layer. They judge you, before they even get to know you. And the funny thing is they say they aren't, they say they feel sorry and that they are here for you, but if you look closely enough in their eyes, you can see that they are lying. Within 5 seconds you can see the truth behind their eyes. Sometimes the truth hurts, that's why I stopped looking.

"Evelyn... Eve...Evely..." Maddox's voice brings me back to reality. His long fingers wipe away the tears on my right cheek. Looking up, I realise that he has pulled over and is now sitting facing me. He studies me before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

"How?... How do you know?" I ask.

"When we were in your wardrobe, I noticed the cuts on your wrist. I didn't say anything then because you looked damn hot. I was gonna come to your room tonight and talk about it, that was until you insisted you came with me." He replies with a wink and a smirk. "Look Evelyn I am not judging you, I would never judge you. I know you have a reason why, and it's okay if you don't want me to know. I understand. I'm not going to force you to stop, but I do have to say that I don't agree with it. I love your body, even with the cuts."

"Maddox..." he cuts me off before I can finish.

"I'm not finished yet. I'm going to give you a proposal. I have my own personal problems, which I may share with you but not today. But that's not the point. The point is, we both need a distraction." I slowly nod in agreement, confused on where he is taking this. "Well why don't we be each other's distractions. I know we only met yesterday, but I can't get you out of my head. It's like you've tattooed yourself into my brain." He half laughs.

"So, you're saying that, we mess around so we... I mean, so I don't cut?" I say curiously.

"And I get my own distraction out of it too. It's just until one of us can find another distraction, or until we don't need one." He replies. I run my hands through my hair and look out the windshield. I notice how all the buzz of my surroundings, is completely silent. Feeling a hand squeeze my thigh I look down to see Maddox's hand, rubbing small circles, then squeezing. He continuously keeps going, until it becomes the rhythm of my heart beat.

"Can I think about it?" I hopelessly ask.

"Of course, but please don't leave me hanging for too long." He smiles at me before turning the car back on. "I guess we have to get going to this dreadful lunch." He laughs. He puts the car into drive, takes off the brake. He takes one last glance at me, flicks on the indicator and pulls off the curb.

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We arrive half an hour later, at a place near the ocean, called Hillary's. It's beautiful, the water glistens in the sun as we drive past the water. we turn left into a car park, and it takes nearly 10 minutes to find a park.

"The aquarium is just up that road, maybe we could go there as a distraction?" He winks, as he pulls out the keys and opens his door. "You know, when I said distraction I didn't mean only muck around behind closed doors. I also meant doing things out and about." He closes the door as I open mine. Stepping out, I immediately regret wearing long overalls. It's like 40 degrees out, 5 seconds out of the car and I'm already sweating. Walking towards the massive building which is looking more of a small mall than a restaurant. I glance up to Maddox, who's attention is on the girl's butts in front of us. Do they know what pants are called? Obviously not as their shorts only cover half their ass. They turn around, flirtatiously laugh and then continue walking. Girls these days are just plan up thirsty, always wanting the dick. But hey, I can't talk. The guy next to me has just offered a deal of a life time. Is it weird that he is my stepbrother? Yes, it is. Do I care? Yes, but only if someone found out. Did I just make up my mind? Am I really going to use him? Questions fly from one side of my brain to the other. The only question that is yelling out to me is, why does he need a distraction? What is so tough in his life that he needs a distraction? He has everything.

"You're not even listening." Maddox exclaims. Fuck what did he say? What are we even talking about? I have seriously blanked. Looking around I notice that we have entered the building, it's really not even a building. It's like a board walk, with surf shops and café's around it. Walking around the corner, I see my father's head. Pissed is an understatement when it comes to how mad he looks. We drag our feet to them, every step increases the heaviness I feel in my gut. Oh boy, shits about to go down.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BOTH BEEN? We have lost our table thanks to you's." He points to the restaurant behind him. Which may I add has, hardly any customers. "We said come straight here." His cheeks flush red, the rage is pouring out of him. Everyone around us slowed their walking, or have completely stopped.

"Honey, you are making a scene." Karan jumps in, completely embarrassed by his behaver.

"Good, maybe a little embarrassment is what they need to get in their thick heads, that the world doesn't revolve around them!" He doesn't take his eyes off us. If it's a scene he wants, a scene is what he will get.

"Oh father. Please. The world doesn't revolve around them. Is that the best you've got? Do you realise that your life was all revolved around you, when you left us? When I needed the most support, when Carter needed a father figure, to help him understand who he is and who he is becoming. You weren't there. So, what if we are an hour late, unless we weren't three years." My throat has become sore, I unleashed everything. Waiting for the tears to slide down my cheeks, but they never do. I'm surprised how quite it has gotten, I look around and all eyes are on us. The only noise I can hear is the faint sound of people talking from afar, and the sound of waves crashing against the beams, and sand. Taking one more glance around my family, I turn on my left foot and walk away from them.

I hear heavy footsteps behind me, too heavy to be Carter's and I know it won't be my father's. It can only be one person, I need a distraction right now before I end up killing someone. Spinning around, I stop in my tracks, looking down. "I need a distraction now, please." I look up hoping to see Maddox. But I don't. Standing in front of me is the blonde shaggy hair boy. Nicholas.