Bullied Into Depression

Voices In My Head

When Jack and I got home to my house we both took a nap on my bed. But during my 2 hour nap I had a nightmare and I thought it was real.

"Joy I see you over there.."

"What? Who? Where?"

"I'm the person you see all the time."

"I see myself all the time in the mirror. Are you me? I can't see anything."

"I'm the thoughts in your head. I'm controlling everything you do."

"Where are you? Can you point me in the right direction?"

"Walk forward. Into the red light."
"Is that you over in the light?"

"It's you but also me."

"What's your name? I.. I.. Don't get it."

"Sad Joy. That's my name."

"But my name is Joy."

"I just said I'm you. The voice in your head. Aren't you listening?"

"I am listening but I'm also confused. I don't know where I am.."

"Joy walk towards me."

"Okay I am."

"Look at me. I'm a black figure. I have no eyes. I'm you."

"But I don't look like that, Sad Joy."

"That's what your feelings and emotions look like."

"They do?"

"Yes Joy. Can you do me and yourself a favor?"

"What's the favor?"

"Wake UP! Go into the bathroom and take 9 of the pills that are on the bathroom sink."

"What are the pills for?"

"For your final option. Happiness."

"Happiness?"

"Yes. Go take them."

"Okay."

"Joy wake up. Wake up. Wake. Up. WAKE UP! TAKE THE PILLS!"

I woke up and saw Jack still sleeping next to me. Nobody else was home and I went out of my bedroom and into the bathroom.
I saw the pills on the side of the sink. I filled up a cup with water and then opened up the bottle with all the pills in them. I took out 9 and then put them all into my left hand.

They were small pills so it'd be easy to take them all down at once. I started to place one by one pill on my tongue.

Soon there was all 9 pills on my tongue. Then I heard him again.

"Take the pills Joy."

I started to drink the water and I felt all the pills go down my throat.

"Good job. You're happiness is soon."

I screamed and fell onto the floor.

I blacked out.

Was this my happiness?