If I told you I loved you

Chapter 12

Draco's POV

I found Harry sitting on our bathroom floor, he was hugging his knees to his chest. He didn't look like he had been crying, just sitting there in deep thought. Rubbing the dark mark, with the scares all over it. I don't think he noticed me walk into our dorm. I pulled a blanket off of my bed and wrapped it around both of us when I sat next to him. "What are you thinking?" I whispered to Harry. "We're going to have to live in each others bodies for a while Draco." He replied flatly. "Hey, we can learn to love ourselves Harry, I know we can." I grabbed Harry's hand and I gently squeezed it. "You don't have to blame yourself." I told him, I slipped my leg underneath and in between Harry's. "I don't blame myself." He tried to lie but it didn't work, he's a horrible liar. "Harry, I talked to Ginny. I know." I rubbed circles on Harry's hand to comfort him. "Oh." He seemed like he wasn't interested in this conversation. "None of it is your fault, you didn't kill them." I said, trying to be supportive. "Sirius was my fault. Voldemort tricked me and I put all of them in danger just because I didn't think. He could be alive now, so could Cedric, if I had been selfish for just one moment." A tear finally fell from his eye. "Harry, you can't blame yourself, you didn't know it was a trap or that the cup was a portkey. None of this is your fault. You're the reason half of us are alive." I pleaded for him to understand that he is the hero, the one who saved us. There was no answer for a long time so we sat in comfortable silence, for what felt like at least half an hour. By now Harry was crying into my chest, sitting on my lap. "I'm so sorry Draco." He said in between sobs. "Harry, you don't need to apologise for anything." I had my arms around his shoulders and his head was still in my chest. All this time and I thought he had recovered from the war, when really he just kept it away from people. "Do you reckon if we fully open up to each other, it would help with the potion?" I asked hoping it would work. "I don't know, but we can try." Harry said as he sat up and looked at me. He got off of me to help me up.

We headed out to the forest with the invisibility cloak over the two of us, hand in hand. Once we were out of the castle, Harry broke the silence between us. "You know, I never had a wonderful childhood." I looked at him, signalling for him to go on. "I lived under the stairs in a cupboard until I was eleven." My jaw dropped. "Why? Did they not have a big enough house?" I was slightly outraged. "Well, no.. Dudley, my cousin had two bedrooms but they didn't like me, or wizards that much." He said quite shyly. "That's horrible." I couldn't understand how anyone, let a lone Harry, could be treated this way. "I always though that was normal, that was how kids like me lived, until-" I cut him off "what do you mean kids like you?" I asked, frowning my eyebrows. "Orphans" I nodded understandingly and bit my lip. "Anyway, I thought that was normal until I got to the burrow, they were all so friendly and it was a home. They could fall asleep on the couch without getting beaten and th-" I cut Harry off once again. "They hit you?!" I yelled, turning my body completely, to face Harry. He nodded and flinched as I pulled him into a bone crushing hug, as the invisibility cloak dropped to the ground. "Oh Harry, if I had known I would never have don't all those things." My words muffled by Harry's shirt, he sighed and fell limp in the hug. "This is why I don't tell people-" He pulled away from the hug and looked me in the eyes. "-Because they pity me." He looked at the ground and kept walking. "Harry, I'm sorry. It's just, no one should ever go through that." I grabbed at his hand and he moved it out of the way. "Forget it Draco." Harry said with a stern tone. I pleaded for him to stop and listen to me, but he stoped and turned to yell at me. "I though you knew what it's like to get pity, when all you want is for someone to care. I don't want someone to tell me everything will be okay, because it's not Draco, it's happened and I can't erase it. But out of all people, I though you would get that." Harry's face was red with anger. "what do you mean, 'me of all people'?" I asked with my voice raised. "Oh I don't know, maybe being a fucking death eater?" Harry pulled up his sleeve to show the Dark mark, my face wore a pained expression. I wanted to storm off or hit something, but I knew that wouldn't end well. "I know you didn't want this Draco. I know you didn't want to kill Dumbledore, or be apart of the war," Harrys words softened. "but I don't pity you, because I know you don't want me to feel sorry for you, you want me to accept you." His eyes were watery as he finished off his speech. "Harry, I'm trying to tell you that I can help, that you don't have to suffer in silence. I'm here for you and we're going to get through this together, whatever problems we come across, we will tackle them together." I reached for Harry's hands again and he let me hold them this time, I pulled him towards me and slid my hands around his waist. Harry pressed his lips on my head. God it feels strange hugging myself. "I sorry." I barely heard Harry say. "It's okay. I know you're stressed and you want your body back, but you have to learn to love yourself and me." I pulled back and smiled up at him reassuringly. "This is really weird having a conversation with myself, but with you." Harry admitted. "Yeah, I was just thinking that." I said as I grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him toward the building. "It's pretty dark now, we should go inside." And Harry replied by wrapping his arm around my back and humming.

We got inside but no one was in the common room, so we just went to bed. I, for once, was the little spoon and Harry's/my arms were around my waist. "Hey Harry?" I asked and he hummed in response. "Will you come to hogsmead with me tomorrow?" I asked hopefully. "'Cause I will, Dray." He said and I could feel him smile into my back. "Goodnight babe." I said. Where did babe come from? Harry chuckled and replied, "Night Hun'." I turned to kiss Harry before I drifted off to sleep in the comfort of my own body, owned by Harry.

Sorry if this chapter doesn't make sense, I couldn't think of anything. Hope you guys are enjoying my story!!