Kiss Me Goodnight

Chapter 7

Thursday December 14th

"You need to leave."

"I flew here."

"Alex, leave my apartment."

"You don't text me for days, we have one actual conversation and that basically took us back to square one."

"So you flew here?"

Alex knows it was dramatic, but even Kelley said to.

"Something's wrong."

"Leave."

"Don't shut me out, Tobin." Tobin shakes her head and stands opposite of Alex. Her stance is defensive, her arms are crossed and pressed tightly against her front. She's not even looking Alex in the eye.

"Let me help you." Alex doesn't give up. She knocked on into Tobin's apartment door earlier unsure of what she'd find. When Tobin opened the door looking solemn Alex immediately asked what was wrong, Tobin almost refused to let her in, but Alex persisted and their conversation became this back and forth.

"Just fucking leave!"

Alex takes a step backwards. That wasn't Tobin. She's never heard Tobin's voice raise in such a way and she's never heard her curse. It's shocking and it just cements Alex's suspicions that something isn't alright; Tobin's not alright.

"I don't know what's wrong, but you're not okay. I'm not going to just leave you."

"I don't need your help!" Tobin's desperately trying to get Alex to leave. She can't even begin to process what it means that Alex is actually here, here in her apartment right now. It's the fourteenth, the day he walked out. Her eyes are already watering up again and she doesn't want Alex to see that.

"I'm not leaving." Alex stands there, on the other side of the room from Tobin. She waits for Tobin to answer, but as she does she glances around the room. The curtains aren't open, books scattered and left unattended, paper crumbled up, pens and pencils on the floor, mugs on the small table in front of the couch. She glances back at Tobin when she hears movement, but all she catches is what she assumes is Tobin's bedroom door shutting. "Fuck." Alex doesn't know what to do with herself now. Honestly she knows that pushing wasn't the best course of action, but what else was she supposed to do?

Does she leave now? Does she wait? What if this is too much?

Alex walks over the the couch and plops herself down on it. It was a bold move booking the plane ticket minutes after she hung up on Kelley. Even bolder of her to actually go to the airport and get onto the plane. The long ride did nothing but make Alex even more nervous about her decision. Kelley was right, Alex wouldn't have been able to sit still and be okay if she kept on wondering about Tobin. She couldn't settle that gut feeling and she went out on a limb and followed it. She was right, but that doesn't make her feel any better.

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Tobin shuts the door and walks into her room. She turns around and stares at her desk. The one she's been sitting at for a majority of her time back. She walks up to it and angrily bangs her fist on the wood.

"So stupid." Tobin doesn't know what to make of this. What the fuck is she supposed to do? Alex is out there still, waiting and wondering. She came all the way to New Haven to check on her.

That scares Tobin.

It terrifies her.

No one has done that much for her since...

"Fuck." Tobin walks back over to her bed and sits on the edge. Why today? He left her today and now Alex is here. She's here and she's trying to be that someone for Tobin, but Tobin can't even function on days like these. She closes her eyes and covers them with her hands. The tears are falling freely and she's crying quietly. She remains like this for awhile, trying to stifle the crying and rubbing her eyes furiously when she becomes especially disheartened and the tears seemed to fall faster and grow bigger.