Bye virginity

WTF

* everyone was chasing me laughing and i began to run faster only to find myself become closer to the people no not the people the monsters that were trapped in side the people i knew so well all the faces like photographs  but you could only see the beautiful outer layer. i fell and woke up looking up at the wall as the blood dripped off and splattered on my thighs wrists and ankles. then it started to drip on my face first slowly then it began to pour down. i couldn't breath.* i sat right up screaming y head up i looked around the room and it was morning i looked up at the ceiling to see...nothing just my boring popcorn white ceiling. i looked down to see my sheets slightly stained with deep red blood.

today was another day i had to go back to school the fist week was the worst i would get pictures in my locker of me that said some type of sexual disuse they didn't realize i had none i even got tested. but why would they care that would just take away from teasing me and not even realizing the pain in caused me. but still from bullying me they didn't get judged they would either be scared to tell of help of be the ones wasting their days ad nights making me become even me depressed then i am.

it was starting to die down and josh was coming home tomorrow so i was happy. i got into class and i heard a few snickers from the girls in the back who only cared about how they looked and making people feel like shit including me but i learned to block it out. i sat down and immediately the phone rang. mrs.nickles called my name i looked up at her and her eyes fixed to mine "the principle would like to see you in the office right away." i got up and felt like a sick dear in a field with tigers sournding me and it didn't end till i got to the office and out of the halls. i sat in the waiting chair and a few seconds later josh appeared with a huge grin on his smile. wich led to me having the biggest smile ever. i ran up and hugged him and he held my hand i turnd around to tell the office administrater i was leaving but she just nodded and we left together into his truck.

"how are you?why are you so early? not that i dont like that i love youre here a day early" i asked eager to hear answears "well we sent all the pattatos out yesterday and my grandma said she was fine from there so i left early this morning." josh filled me in with all the "fun" activities he did on the farm we were about 15 minutes from his house when he started to rub my arms. i was looking out the window and almost fell asleep from how good it felt then his hand froze, and i heard him cough i turnd to face him and realized he had felt my cuts on my arms. he turned my wrist over to examine the cuts that marked my feeling each one had a story to it. "WHAT THE FUCK LOLA WHAT ARE THESE YOU CRAZY ASS I LEAVE FOR 2 WEEKS AND YOU'RE FISHING FOR ATTENTION...' he was gonna keep going but i jerked my hand away furiously "you should know that i wasn't fishing for attention i...i" i whimperd as tears brimmed my eyes he looked at me and shook his head i was to nervous to tell him but i knew i had to "WHAT THE HELL TELL ME LOLA" then i heard a ear pearcing noise of a horn i closed my eyes and my ears were the only things that could tell me what was happened   i opend my eyes and everything went into slow motion  i could see the car rolling towards a telephone pole. the side of the car was bending towards me it was hard to make out anything because the car was flipping furiously  i felt a sharp pain shoot through my leg and up t my neck and soon everything went black.....