JENNY

(#5 | Confessed)

It's been weeks.

I'm still trying to forget about it.

I haven't been out ever since.

I've always kept on pushing the subject just to get it out of my head, but it would never erase.

Reliving that moment, cringes every part of me.

I've turned into someone else.

That night was something to remember, but something I'm longing to forget.

I've never thought of if as something serious. I thought everyone goes through it. But I guess the unlucky ones are fortunate in this situation.

Though, it all makes sense now. This. That. When. Why. It's all clear now.

It wasn't only a panic attack that caused me to feel this way. Though, my panic attacks come and go, I always learn how to control them.

I've never confessed anything like this ever, since the appointment, but I have to, some way...

I have been diagnosed as bipolar.

I didn't know that it was that serious until I woke up from my black out.

All my thoughts and feelings phased as my mind woke up.

I'm so ashamed of myself. I'm a failure and I shouldn't even have a reason to wake up everyday. Life can't go on like this. I know I will be a hand full to work with but that is no excuse.

I haven't went to school since the appointment and my friends are already telling me that people thing I'm a psycho. I'm not. I'm the same Jenny I've always been. Just.. A little different.

Either way, I hate my life. There is no reason for life. So if this is the last, or the beginning, then let it begin. Let the struggle begin.