Demons Inside

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I never wanted any of this to happen. There was never anything I could do to prevent it. It was all too much for me to handle. I'm surprised I was able to last this long. It was never anyone's fault but my own. It was my own fault that I wasn't strong enough to handle everything. It was my own fault that I hurt myself and others. It was my own fault that I could never face my demons inside. I write this note to my loved ones, friends, family. I write this to all who ever actually cared, to those who actually gave a damn about me, and to those who felt crazy enough to stand by my side. Always know that I will never forget you in my new life. You are the only ones I could ever truly care about. Please never forget who I was in my past life, and always remember how I'll be better in my life after death. Now I say this to you all one last time... Goodbye.

As Samantha put down the now tear stained note, she couldn't help but ball up in a fit of sadness. She wept and cried as she read over the note over and over again. She found it hard to believe it to actually be true. She may have not believed it if the dead body of her lover did not lay next to her. He lay there with a smile on his face and an open bottle of pills in his hand. Small cuts littered his wrists, previously hidden by long-sleeved shirts. All Samantha could do was wallow on the floor as her sorrow continued to eat at her.

She couldn't help but blame herself for what had happened. She was his lover, his soulmate, how could she have not seen this coming sooner. As she continued to blame herself, she began to think back to how Josh said it wasn't anyone's fault but his own. She dwelled on that sentence, wondering if it could actually be true. How could all of his hate and sadness build up to such a point without her noticing. She wish she could show him a way to fight his inner demons. She wish she could show him how much of an impact this has all had.

Samantha began to think about his parents, his brothers and sisters. How was she going to tell them. There was not a solution to that problem. She can only hope they can escape their sorrows better that she will be able to. She only wished she wouldn't have to tell them at all. She wished that this was all just a dream, something she would wake up from any moment. Reality struck her as she realized that it wasn't a dream, this was all real, and Josh was really dead beside her.

She grasped his hand, only to feel a cold, hollow shell of the former man. She loaned to feel his warm touch again, to feel his lips against hers, to hear his angelic voice speak to her. Sadly, she will never be able to have those blessings again. Josh was dead. His life taken by none other than himself. If only he knew how much more pain he caused now. If only he was still here. If only he didn't have demons inside.

The End

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