Wicked Stepmother

Keeping House

My life now settled into a routine. I was one of these people, the "little people" we called ourselves, people whom society had rejected. Girls like me had come here, dropped their bundle and then gone away (baby at all) into service or such. Was that my future, a princess of the realm reduced to learning how to obey orders and clean things? Would my child be born into service? "My child" the idea of it still seemed terribly wrong to me. I did not feel this leaden thing in my gut and in my veins was a child. A demon maybe. A curse. A canker.

The little people seemed reluctant to really accept me, apart from the likeable idiot, Bill. I supposed I would end up in service then for all I would rather live out my life here in the forest in at the very least anonymity. But at night when I could not sleep I still thought of Kiora and her child- not that I missed the little slug but only the mother. How beautiful and serene she had seemed in her pregnancy for all that I had made fun of her and how large and clumsy and sick I felt, even before my body had actually swelled at all.

I was charming to Marsha in particular, because she seemed to be the leader. I half thought at first of seducing her so I could stay and not go into service. When I spoke outright of not wishing to go she just told me I had to think of my child and do what was best for "him" (they had decided its gender, you see). I vainly told them again and again that I had no wish for a child, that body and soul I was never cut out for motherhood. They simply thought it was the silliness of my youth speaking. But I had things I wanted from life, just not that!

Seducing Marsha did not work out. She grew to like me in her way when I brought her herbal tissanes and dug out a wild rose bush and replanted it where she could see it from her bed. Orj, who never spoke had built me a bed, as tall as Bill's and taller than all the others. But Marsha made it clear that though she was grateful for the kindnesses I performed for her she thought I was extremely silly and very young. She acted more as an aunt- showing affection through strictness, than as a potential lover. Bill might have done as a lover but even though he was a merry and kind soul his face looked like the moon and he was not someone an adult could seriously consider in that way (or so I thought in any case).

The "Little people" did not let me go out to help with their diggings, their latest project which was an idea that Nouse had had, that was never explained to me in detail though it seemed they all believed this project would somehow improve their lives. They used to take it turns to stay home and do "jobs" but because it was all they saw me as good for, they expected me to stay home and do all the cooking and cleaning which meant many rows the first few days when they came home and nothing much had been done. I had no idea how to cook or clean or even what needed doing. So for a week each of the seven took a day to stay home and order me about. Orj obviously had no words, so he? she? it? showed me what to do and smiled when I did it with them. The others varied, but over the week I got some idea of what they all expected the stay-at-home person to do, and since I did not want to be left for the wolves like Marsha threatened, I did it! My stews were still lumpy so they decided that on Sundays I would have a holiday and one of the others would cook and clean. I was allowed to go fishing, or flower collecting or take all day berry or mushroom gathering instead of trying to fit it around jobs like I did every other day.

I would have done some writing if I had had paper and ink, and some archery had I my bow. But I wandered quite happily the first Sunday they gave me. I was lonely because none of the little people was usually home until late in the evenings when they were all tired, and they clung together so that I was always the outsider, but they were not harsh or cruel toward me. I was more servant than sister to them I think.

On Sunday, though lonely, and though my thoughts often turned to Kiora who I remembered clearly or sometimes Bennett whose face I could not quite recall but who was very handsome and warm I knew I was happy to spend my time wandering and making garlands of flowers (I made ones for the seven so they wouldn't think I was vain) and listening to birdsong and even climbing the odd tree.

It was a lonely life, a harder than I was used to life and in many ways a melancholy life but it was not terrible. The worst part was never seeing any relief from the tedium ahead of me, that and the impending doom of my pregnancy which apart from my constant feeling of nausea and tiredness still did not seem real to me.