Wicked Stepmother

Shiny apples for the pretty maid

I was barely up and about next time when Kiora came by and my nurse for the day (Pan again) managed to chase her off. I was too weak to resist. I was almost sure she would see my lack of resistance and not come back again.

I felt despair slip around my shoulders, by now a habitual garment to wrap myself in. I dreamed of the day when I would be strong enough to take a "walk" off that cliff. I ate as little as I could, conscious that I was considered by some of the dwarves a burden and I took a leaf out of Orj's book and spoke not a word.

How different I was than I had been- I had always had words for anyone friend or foe so many bright hopes for the future and an ability to enjoy every moment and ignore anything that could dampen my mood. I did not think now about the present or future, made no plans but when my mind tormented me by wakefulness and the work I was asked to help with was too simple to distract me, I went over and over in my head every moment I had spent with Kiora. At times I thought I ought to remember the excitements I had shared with Bennett but only Kiora was in my mind, especially the night when she rode Snowflake into the forest against my express wishes and riding her so well.

I smiled at the words we had exchanged, her attempt to "put me in my place" which I saw right through.

"What are you smiling at White as Snow?" Lara asked. I jumped.

"What did you call me?" I asked

"Oh your face is pale like well-milled flour or like snow" she said, "I am sorry, I did not mean anything amiss."

"No." I said quickly, "Nothing is amiss. I used to be called Snow White."

"You are the missing princess are you not?" Lara asked. I just stared.

"I go to the markets for provisions, I see things. Hear things" she said, "But I never said ought to anyone because I figured it was your business." I simply gazed at her speechless, my thoughts in a tumble. Could I use this information in some way? But I was out of practice using information in any way at all.

"You look tired, Lovely." Lara always talked to me as if I was her baby sister, "Go out and sit in the sun and soak up some summer while you can."

I took a shawl and a bowl of peas that needed shelling, though Lara tried to tell me I didn't need to do anything. But I DID. I was BORED and I was BURDEN and I needed to be BUSY.

I walked slightly away from the house and sat down on my shawl, shelling the peas. Despite how awful everything was the sun still shone and the birds still sang, the bees buzzed (we had a hive) and there were pleasant scents on the wind from herbs and flowers and the greenery. I saw a tiny red toadstool and I felt sad for it, but I didn't know why. Maybe it was ust the sadness leaching out of me. Maybe I would find hope somewhere. So far I failed to see where but I was not one for giving up so easily surely? 

Why even survive my first night in the forest if I was going to fall apart now.

The old woman approached me, the one I knew to really be Kiora.

"Pssst Clovis"

"Kiora"

"Quick before your guards see me." her eyes twinkled. Then she looked serious

"I got something from the midwife, a potion. But be very careful. She said if..."

I heard a step behind me

"Oh" said Lara, "My sister is recovering from an illness and can't see anyone. I must ask you to leave."

"A basket of shiny, pretty apples for the pretty maid" Kiora said sounding convincingly like and old crone.

"Oh I don't think" Lara began but I had an iron grip on the basket.

"Thank you mother, my sister is right I must rest, goodbye" I said demurely and Kiora winked and walked into the trees.

"Well, how annoying that people find us." Lara looked flustered.

"Oh she was nothing like the queen" I said, "the queen is young and beautiful beyond compare. They say that even her mirror is in love with her."

"A wicked spell by a vain woman no doubt." Lara said sharply

"No she is not vain" I said in surprise, "she's kind and good. I don't know why people assume she must be evil just because she is beautiful. I mean I am not evil am I?"

"You're a silly spoilt child" Lara snapped, though she had traces of affection in her voice.

"I know you think so" I said honestly.

"Well you'd better give me the apples" Lara said

"I'll put them in the cellar and we'll let Marsha check them to see they are not poisoned" I said in an innocent, gullible voice. Since she thought I was a child I would get my way by acting like that. 

"Oh I am sure she was just a crazy old woman" she was suddenly dismissive, "But yes do put them in the cellar there's a darling. I have so much to do!"

"I nearly finished the peas" I showed her.

"Thank you Clover" she said, "You are such a help today." I smiled and took the basket into the house and down to the cellar. Once I was safely alone I rummaged in it. A green glass bottle was under the apples (which were particularly shiny and fresh it must be said). I took the bottle and looked for a note. No note. Damn! What had Kiora been about to say?

I smuggled the bottle into my sleeve and went up the stairs and asked Lara what more help she needed. I thought I ought to do that first before...or maybe I was just putting it off because I was a coward. I wondered if Kiora had just smuggled me poison to put me out of my misery. But no she had said "be careful" so death wasn't the aim. Lara said it was all fine and I said I was tired and would lie on my bed. Lara agreed.

I lay down and wondered how much of the bottle I dared drink. I dared not drink less than a full dose because this time had to be the charm, I needed to do the job. Thinking about it logically I thought if I had too much I would simply die, which was my back-up plan if all else failed anyway. If I drank too little I would still have the lump inside me and have to die anyway.

I lay back and drained the whole bottle.