Wicked Stepmother

Desperate times

Kiora was back the following week.

"They said I shouldn't let you in!" I smirked

"Clovis I am sick of everyone's nonsense about us being rivals" she said. She sounded almost vicious and I looked at her in her burgundy velvet dress and suddenly could see why people so easily believed she was a witch.

"I take it, our plan didn't work!" she said shortly. She didn't smile or touch me. Typical ice-queen bitch I thought for a second. I put my hand up to her cheek with a mischievous grin. For a second I thought she was going to lean into my palm, then she shook me off like I was an irritating child or kitten.

"I want you to come home with me." her eyes were serious, "Baby and all, we will work something out. People have been in this predicament since time immemorial but you are the princess, the heir to the throne. Surely we can..."

"You know I can't do that" I said "and I refuse to give birth. If I can't get rid of this growth I will jump off the cliff, I have found the right cliff too- no danger of surviving it." I had been going to gaze at it and wonder on days when I could spare a moment and had been almost sure the time has come to do it, then Kiora had popped up that day. I wanted her more than I wanted to escape my life.

"I can't give birth" I said again, hoping she wouldn't insist on jumping with me but with a small part of my brain hoping she would so she could hold me into the abyss.

"Why no Snow White?" she asked and this time my nickname was not an affectionate reminder of my place in the hearts of the kingdom, but had a trace of contempt, as though she thought I was being a spoilt little princess, "So many of us have to give birth, why are you so special?"

"I won't do it" I said stubbornly, "it is not what I am for" Her eyes continued looking at me in silence as if she heard and understood me perfectly. She didn't say anything for a while. Then she wheeled around and walked into the trees. I thought she was leaving me to my fate and I was angry and frightened though I had to acknowledge I had not made it easy for her. I head her in the trees, talking to someone and she returned leading Seagull.

"Seagull" I sobbed and threw myself upon the white mare, stroking and caressing her face as she lipped me in happy greeting.

"She misses you" Kiora said, "Won't you come home for her?" Implying that I could love my horse more than her! As soon as this thought flashed through my mind it was followed with surprise that there was a human being in the world that I could think more of than Seagull.

"She is yours now" I said to Kiora, giving Seagull something far more precious than even what I gave Kiora.

"Don't be silly Clovis, can you imagine me riding your horse whenever I want? She's not your horse anymore and she might grow to love me. You don't want that to happen!"

"She'll never..." but I stopped. In the old days I would have scornfully told her Seagull would never love her as much as me but that was no longer certain in this frightening world where my body nurtured the seed of my demise.

"You'll never see her or me again if you don't come with me." but I knew Kiora was bluffing, she would keep trying.

"Ok then" I turned my back. There was silence and I didn't dare to peek, to show my weakness- that I didn't want her to leave me.

"You stubborn, headstrong, little fool!" Kiora finally uttered in her angry witch voice, "as if a baby that came out of you would not be the most beautiful..."

"Stop it! You make me sick" I snapped. She sighed and opened a pack on the back of the white mare.

"I stole something from the midwife" she told me in a quiet, calm voice. Icy! I was almost certain she was terrified. I had a sudden impulse to comfort her, to do whatever she wanted to take her fear away.

"I don't want to do this." she said, "I have watched Verity the midwife do it and it is messy and dangerous and painful. I want you to give up your silliness and stop being so headstrong and come home with me."

"I will not" I said

"Then I want you to safely live here to an old age and I will visit when I can."

"When this thing turns into a real baby I will kill myself" I vowed, sure I could not go through a birth.

"OK, I will rid you of it" she said quietly, not looking at me, "you will have to lie down. I made the mistake of looking at what was in her hand. It was a wicked, sharp-looking hook. "But after this" she said, "by God you are mine and I will NEVER let you get into this state again."

"Do you really think I will ever live under the authority of another person?" I teased her

"No" she sighed, "I know well you will not!"