Love Letters |tracob|

20

troye

it's the next day and connor and i are waiting in the parking lot for jacob to finish practice. it's about 5:30. As we wait, connor and i look up different places that sell suits and dresses on our phones... and i still don't know if i want to wear a dress or a suit.

jacob takes about 15 more minutes to get changed and then we leave. Connor, of course, is driving just like the first time we hung out. i brought jacob dry shampoo to spray in his hair so it wouldn't look as greasy when we go to fancy shops to get our homecoming attire. 

jacob asks connor for the aux and we turn up the music so loud that is blasting in our ears and we all sing along to summer songs because we already miss summer. It's like the perfect day, too; really warm but not too hot.

The first shop that we go to in town is a little boutique on a corner. jacob and i get out of the car through the same door because we wouldn't want jacob to get hit by a car.

"are you gonna wear a suit of a dress to the dance?" jacob asks me

"uhh i don't know yet... how about you?"

jacob laughs "i think you already know the answer to that"

i laughed too, how silly of me, of course he was gonna wear a suit. "right"

probably gonna look hot af too

"what do you think i should wear jay?" 

"whatever you want"

"....connor?"

"whatever you want to wear is fine"

When we got inside the boutique there is a pudgy little woman who wore this really big and long dress with her hair in a bun. she had glasses on the tip of her nose as she looked up from whatever she was reading to see us entering.

She came from behind the desk to greet us,

"hello is there something, in particular, you are looking for today?"

 "do you rent suits by any chance?" jacob asked

"no, i am quite sorry"

connor and i were about to turn and leave when jacob mumbled,

"well i guess we will look at the dresses for troye then, right?"

"no jake, it's okay"

the woman looked confused "and who is troye" she said in confusion, seeing that we were all boys here and 'troye' was most certainly a boys name. 

it might seem like i'm so confident in the clothes i wear, whether it be skirts, or dresses or fem. clothes; but the truth is even though i wear all of that stuff. i still get really intimidated in stores, especially when i have to talk to an employee or someone that works in the store. of course i was a little intimidating by this woman who seemed very judgmental about looking for dresses for a boy, so i stood behind jacob more "but,... you're a boy?"

jacob

"but,... you're a boy?" she said with a look of utter disgust. 

"uhh yeah" troye said timidly from behind me.

i could sense the tension in the room between the woman and us.

i didnt even have to turn to look at troye, practically hiding behind me to know that he was scared and felt uncomfortable. 

the short woman had a look of utter disgust as she just stared at troye. i just stared at the woman. anger filled my body and eyes and my fists clenched. i would never hit a woman or anything of the sort so i used my words to 

"do you have a problem with that?" i asked, not even caring that i have an attitude right now

she just put her glasses back on her face and started walking back behind her desk with the papers in her hand, shaking her head.

she mumbled "boys do not wear dresses," she said looking down, shuffling through her papers, then she stared straight into troye's eyes and said

"only girls do and i dont want any transgender or whatever-you-are person in my shop..."

i stood there, trying to compose myself as my blood boiled at her words. pure anger filled my veins; and with her last sentence, i snapped. 

"never had and never will!" she yelled making troye flinch as he grabbed my hand out of pure terror. i eased at his touch, unclenching my fists and locking my fingers into his; though i was still angry.

connor stood there in shock at her words. he knows when i get angry, "jacob let's just get out of here-"

"HE is not transgender, HE is a boy, TROYE is a boy" i started to shout as the lady stood there in shock. 

"and what's wrong with being transgender anyway? just because people are different than you, doesn't mean they aren't any different as a person" i said waving my hands in the air.

"doesn't matter i don't associate myself with those kinds of people nor do i allow them in my shop" 

we stood there for a couple if seconds because i wasn't leaving without some justice. 

"you know i take pity on you, and i really shouldnt but i do. it's 2017 and people need to get it together. i'm tired of all the judgment and the fact that people arent accepting of todays world; hate is becoming more, and love is what we really need... acceptance is what we really need, not judgement...and, so what if troye like to wear 'girl clothes'?" i say as i walk over to troye and hug him from behind, "that's just what he likes to wear and i wouldnt judge u for wearing a 'guy's shirt' and ... so what if connor's gay? he's my best friend, always will be"

"who helped me when my sister died last year? yup connor did, because he's a kind, a compationate person"

my voice broke a little bit but atleast i got my point across

"troye taught me that love is love, and that it doesn't matter what you wear because there will always be someone who loves you and appreciates you for the way you are. yeah they are different, but not in the way you look at it. These are caring, smart, beautiful, beautiful people... and i'm sooo lucky to have them"

we stood there for another seven seconds and then i decided it's time to go. 

we left the shop with the woman's head hanging low in shame, but at least we got some type of point across. so glad troye knows that my sister died *sarcasm*, I never wanted him to know this emotional side of me. 

we walked down the sidewalk and i hugged troye from behind, resting my chin on his curls. I breathed in before saying 'i'm sorry'

"for what?" he said confused

"that that had to happen"

he lifted up his arms that were at his sides and hugged my arms closer to his chest.

i then proceeded to hug connor. i guess i'm a hugger now? all i know is that that's enough shopping for one day