Love Letters |tracob|

30

jacob

i gave troye the letter i wrote him back at my house in 2 minutes. it was when he got in the car with connor to go home. i told him "don't open it until you get home", and it said 'for you.' on the front of it.

that night was one of my favorite nights because it was filled with kisses, blushes, touches, and everything loving. i think i love troye, but it's too early to actually say that to him.

troye

the first thing i did when i got home was run upstairs to my room and read that letter that says 'for you.' on the front of it.

"dear troye,

if you're reading this you probably agreed to be something more that i've always wanted ever since i met you. i'm writing this as a letter because i want you to know how much i like you and i'm most likely too scared to say it in person.

first, yes i wrote you letters and put them in your locker since the very first day of school because yes i've sort of liked you since then.

two, yes i bought you roses and burned a mixtape.

third, troye you're the most beautiful person ive ever seen and you are so nice and funny and cute like fuck. that one night we went to the movies and watched la la land because you hated 'It' was the night i realized yes i do like you. i loved kissing you and getting that little shock through my body the moment our lips touched. did you get that too or was that just me? text me if u did too.

fourth, connor told me about the 'lucky penny' thing last night and my heart melted

fifth, i know i probably seem crazy right now because i love everything about you especially your eyes and your little stars, but i hope you can like me as much as i like you

sixth, smile more with your teeth. it's cute.

seventh, i hope you dont mind, but i am going to continue writing you secret admirer letters and putting them in your locker

see you troye boy,

forever jacob"

could this boy be anymore perfect? my heart literally flutters at the thought of him and i still cant believe im his star and i still cant believe we kissed again

i think i'm in love with him but it's crazy if i tell him that now

also,

troye: yes i felt it too

jacob: felt what?

troye: the little spark that shot through my body the moment you kissed me the first time (and every other time after that)

jacob: the feeling is mutual

troye: hmm maybe we should date then 😏

jacob: maybe

troye: lmao gn ily

jacob: ilyt ❤️

does he know my simple 'ily' really genuinely means i love you? probably not

jacob

does troye mean 'i love you' or 'ilyt'?

either way i'm glad he's mine.

every day after that i call him baby, my lover, mine. there was a rush to this new style of troye and i and it made my heart feel loved because i loved troye. we made sure not to leave connor out nor become too caught up in each other to make connor feel awkward or lonely. though we always hung out with connor and we never not wanted to, we still had our little dates and secret places.

on a particular day of the following week, troye and i were in my car. he brought the mixtape i had made him an popped it into the car's player.

i noticed small stuff about troye every now and then, and even more now that we are dating. the melody of track one caused troye to close his blue ocean eyes and move his head from right to left in swift motions as he got into the sound. sometimes i feel like troye can actually feel the music. his soft curls dangle from his forehead as he feels the song, tapping his converse shoe on the floor to the steady beat of the bass.

i almost didnt see the green light until troye opened his eyes for a short moment and said "jacob go" while pointing to the road.

sometimes i get too caught up in the beauty i guess.

when we got to this special place off the side of the road to a different town, a different state, it was about sunset hour. i parked on this dirt patch and we exited the car and were hooked on the view on from of us.

i leaned against the hood of my car and troye leaned against me and the car as i kissed the top of his head.

we admired the flat area of unoccupied land with the oranges and yellows closest to the land (or so it seems) and the purples and dark blues cascading upwards and behind us.

it was a perfect place to just make out and admire beauty, dream. oh and boy oh boy let me tell you, troye sivan is a dream, and sometimes you just get caught up in the moment.

sometimes would drive 2 hours all the way to the beach over the weekend just to see pink skies. connor came too, of course, to take pictures, but nothing beat this moment.

if you're wondering about things at school, everyone is pretty cool with me being gay (that i know of) and if anything, girls like me more now than they did before they knew i was gay; which is weird. the guys on the football team are also surprising okay with it too.

troye and i still are trying to get connor and matt to date, but we know they both like each other, it's evident.

and i still write troye letters and put them in his locker because i know he loves it.