Sign Your Name Across My Heart

Chapter twenty-six

After parking in front of my building, Hawthe stops me before I get out. ''Do you need... company? Or anything at all?'' He has a worried expression all over his face. Why does he look worried for me? I'm not his responsibility or problem but by the look on his face, it seems like he wants me to be.

I close my eyes while I shake my head. I'm aware he's just trying to be nice but it should be obvious that I don't want company, especially from him - after getting my heart completely broken. ''Okay, no problem. Just thought I'd ask.'' He states and I can hear his hands tightening on the steering wheel. ''But seriously, if you ever do need anything, anything at all - you have my number now.'' He adds on.

I am unable to say anything to him, I simply nod my head and get out - slowly heading inside my place.

As I enter, it suddenly feels lifeless and lonely. I haven't known Ash very long, maybe only four or five months, but everything that's happened today has felt like such a blindside that I feel like my world has come crumbling down around me and I don't know how to handle it.

I almost feel so desperate as to pull out my phone and google, 'How to get over your first ever breakup', but I don't. Instead, I message Ivy.

Ash broke up with me.

The tears begin falling from my eyes uncontrollably as reality settles in and I fall onto my couch, curling up in a ball. My phone buzzes and with every fibre in my body I pray that it's Ash telling me he was just joking or he made a huge mistake and to come back so he can apologize, but I know that it's just Ivy replying to my text.

What?? Omg. What happened?

I can't seem to muster up the energy or willingness to reply to her. After a couple minutes, my phone starts to ring. I sigh and answer, holding it to my ear but I say nothing. ''Libby..? Are you okay?'' She asks, her voice the most gentle and soft that I've ever heard it sound.

''I don't really know.'' I manage to let out a chuckle but it's a very fake one. ''I went to the hospital and he wouldn't speak to me. He... He just kept telling me that I'm making this all harder than it needs to be because I kept asking why and he just couldn't fucking tell me why. He said he just doesn't want to see me anymore.'' I explained to her. Telling the story to her is like reliving the moment and it makes me cry even harder - though I try to do it quietly because I don't want Ivy to know how upset I truly am over this.

''What the fuck does that even mean?!'' She cries out. ''He's such a fucking idiot Libby, I swear to god. He doesn't know what he's doing. You're amazing and perfect... And he doesn't deserve you!'' She exclaims.

I know she's trying to make me feel better but none of these uplifting words are making me feel any better. In fact, they're making me feel worse because I know that I didn't do anything wrong and that I've been nothing but good to Ash. I don't need a reminder.

''Do you want me to come over? Little sleepover? I promise I won't go on my phone at all. You will have my full attention.'' She says.

''No, that's okay Ivy. But thanks, though. I appreciate it.'' I end the call before she's able to reply and though I feel a little bad doing it, I also don't care. Nothing feels very important at this moment.

****

I spend the rest of the day wallowing in my sorrow on the couch. Despite the dramatics, it is making me feel at least slightly better. I've never been ''dumped'' before, I've never even had a boyfriend before until him. This is all so new to me and I don't know how long I'm supposed to feel like the world is ending. I hadn't realized how attached I grew to Ash, how much I liked him.

I wish we had more time, or I wish I simply just had a valid reason as to why he doesn't want to see me anymore. I know it's going to take a while for me to get over this because my brain won't let me forget this easily. I overthink and I'm always paranoid, so a situation like this is absolutely going to make it worse for me.

How selfish can he be? I rush to the hospital to see him, make sure he's okay - and he picks that moment to break up with me with no remorse? I never took him for someone like that, a jerk, but I guess I read the situation completely wrong. I am once again left feeling stupid. I feel like I've been left to feel stupid many times in our relationship. Trusting him with all the violence and drugs, around the questionable people he surrounds himself with. Maybe I should be glad I got away from it while it's not too late. He's proven not to be trustworthy.

A gentle knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts and I immediately spring up on my feet, staring at my door. Is it him? That's impossible... Only a couple hours ago I saw him lying in pain in a hospital bed. Is it Ivy coming to see me despite me telling her not to?

I let out an angry sigh through my nose and I slowly walk to the door, swiftly unlocking it before pulling it open.

I frown, confused, seeing a tall man in all black standing at my doorway with a large bouquet of bright red roses. They're wrapped in beige plastic and I can smell their strong floral, earthy odour instantly. He doesn't say anything, which makes me grow a little worried. ''Um, I think you have the wrong door.'' I state, cocking my eyebrow.

''You're Libby?'' He asks, a very blank expression on his face.

''Y-yes.'' I stutter, not sure if I should even answer. What's going on?

''Then these are for you.'' He says, no emotion in his voice. He pushes his hand forward, motioning for me to take the roses. I oblige, though I feel like I have no other choice. He doesn't seem like he's going to leave unless I take them.

I have to use two hands to hold them, as they're surprisingly heavy. I don't say anything to this strange man as I shut the door. Am I supposed to say thank you? How does he know my name? Who is he?

I lock my door and walk towards my kitchen to lay the roses down on my island but a little paper slips from the bouquet and lands on the floor next to my foot. I put the roses down on the counter and I bend down, scooping the paper up.

To raise your spirits. I hope you like roses.

Hawthe

I gulp and stand back up, unable to take my eyes off of the little handwritten note.