Getting My Life Together, Sorta..

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*Kelsey's POV*

I was back on her doorstep, waiting for her to open the door with Liz in my arms just like the last time I came here. For the same reason too.

 She answered the door and once she saw me the smile that was on her face instantly disappeared and she had a frown, "What happened?" 

I looked down at the ground, "Ian cheated on my with Tammy, again."

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "You know, I really do hate him. He puts you through all this and then still expects everything to be all right. Seriously, where is my damn shovel?"

I chuckled at that last part. We always say that when a guy hurts one of us that we will get a shovel and you know.. yeah.

She let me in and I went straight up to the room that was Liz's before and put her in the crib that was still there before going out to the car and grabbing everything else. But I was on my way up to the door with all the stuff when I heard a branch snap behind me.

Instantly, I turned around and saw none other then Sterling. God damn, what is he doing here? He smiled at me before walking over, "Hey you! I found you."

I sighed, "Yay..." In a sarcastic tone.

He chuckled, "So where ya been hiding?"

"Oh, no where really.. I'm just helping my friend with some stuff. I'm not staying here. I have my own place now and I couldn't be happier."

He looked down, "Yeah. I was wondering, why did you leave my place? I thought everything was working pretty good.. I was obviously wrong."

 I just walked away, I am done with him. I didn't even look back at him once, just kept walking.

I got inside and put everything where it should be and then checked on Liz one last time before going to my room, taking a shower, then laying on my bed and grabbing my phone seeing that I had a text, from Ian. Ugh.

'Kels, I love you. Please come back, it wasn't what it looked like, I swear xx'

'Oh really? I saw her, on top of you, her lips on yours. That looked like cheating to me! Am I wrong?'

'Well no, but, I wasn't a part of it. Do you know what I mean?'

'No, I don't know what you mean. All I know is you cheated on me, again, with the same girl. C'mon, dude. You keep hurting me and expect me to just forget it and act like it never happened. That was the old Kelsey, letting everyone step on her. I'm done with that. You hurt me, you're done, and you've hurt me one too many times.'

'But.. I love you.. Why don't you understand that?'

'You love me? Is that right? You have a funny way of showing it.'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean, you cheat on me and lie to me all the time, is that love? No.'

'But.. You don't understand, I need you, and our daughter.'

'She is not your daughter anymore. I will take care of her all the time. She will be my priority, not yours. I will have divorce papers for you soon too.'

'Kels, I love you. Don't do this. We have a life, and a family together. Do you really want all that to go away for this one little thing?'

'LITTLE THING?? This is not a little thing! You have got to be fucking kidding me right now!' 

'No, it really is. If you knew all that happened then you would understand what I'm talking about.' 

'I don't want to know what happened, I already know what happened. Now, leave me alone.'

'I love you, remember that. I will always love you. xx' 

I locked my phone and turned on the TV to try and get my mind off things. It worked, I watched TV until I fell asleep and it felt like for that little amount of time, I didn't have any problems in my life. 

*Ian's POV*

God damnit, why does my life have to be so fucking complicated? Can't it just go the way I want it to, once? Tammy just had to go and fuck it up like she did last time, didn't she? Can't she get it through her damn head that I don't want her, I want Kelsey. All I've ever wanted is Kelsey. She's all I'll ever want. But I don't think she wants me anymore because every time something is going good somebody or something gets in the way of that and ruins it all, every fucking time. 

I threw my phone onto the bed and ran my hands through my hair angrily trying to think of something, anything I could do. But I couldn't think of anything. Nothing. She will never forgive me after this one, I just know it and that is what is killing me inside, I just want to die right now. I mean, if I can't have Kelsey and my family than what is the point in living?

Trick question. There is no point in living without them, they are my everything. All that I live for, and now that they're gone than I don't need to, or have to, or want to live. 

I walked over to my bed and grabbed my phone, typing a message to Kelsey: 

Kels, I know I have made mistakes in my life that hurt you. I honestly never wanted to hurt you, I still don't want to hurt you. I hope nobody every hurts you like I have. It breaks my heart knowing the pain I have caused you, honestly I am sorry. Sorry for all the heart ache. Sorry for all the lying and cheating. Sorry for the secrets. Sorry for everything I have ever done to you. 

I love you, always. Just remember that when I'm gone. I hope you can forgive me, I just hope me leaving this earth might help that a lot. Make sure Liz has a good life and will always know about me and know to stay away from boys like me, please? It would mean a lot to me knowing that she doesn't have to go through all the things you went through because of me. 

Yes, I am killing myself unless you haven't figured that out by now. I am going to do it after you read this because once you read this and don't answer I will know that it's not worth being on this plant anymore. You and Liz are my world. You're my everything and if I can't have you guys than there is no point in living. Don't feel sorry for me, even though I know you won't. I have done too much to you and I don't deserve anything, not even your sympathy, which I would die for. Which I am dyng for.

I love you. I love Liz. Always remember me for the man I was before I hurt you because that was the good me. I regret all that I have done, I really do. Goodbye, forever. 

I sent it and sat there waiting for her to read it. I was sitting there for what felt like hours. Waiting, just waiting for her to read it. Then, at about one in the morning she finally read it. Finally. 

*Kelsey's POV*

I finished the last words of the text that Ian had just sent me. Why is he going to kill himself? That's a stupid question, I just read why. I can't believe he is going to go this far just because I won't forgive him. I don't want him to die, but I don't want to be with him. This is too much for me, why does everything have to be so complicated? 

I decided not to answer. I mean, I don't know how to answer. So I put my phone down and somehow, fell back asleep. 

*Ian's POV*

She didn't answer. How could she not answer? Oh wait, she doesn't care if I die. Guess I'm gunna do it.. Goodbye world. I'll miss you.. 

*~*~*~~*~*~*

Yes, it's short. Yes, I haven't updated in forever. I have been really busy with school and hanging out with people I just haven't had time to update. But this time I will not update until I get 10 reads and 2 votes. I'm sorry but I'm not going to waste my time and energy writing a book that nobody even cares about. So... Yeah. See ya(: 

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