Missing

No More

My alarm when off but I turned it off and went back to sleep. I just wasn't in the mood to do training today. Especially after last night. If Sami wanted to work with JJ by himself today that was fine by me. Jennifer lightly shook my arm and I opened one eye and half smiled at her.

"Jon, aren't you training with JJ today?"

"I don't want to." I grumbled "I just want to sleep. I want to sleep the stress away."

She kissed my forehead and snuggled up against me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close trying to drift off back to sleep

"What's going on? You never want to skip a training with JJ."

"I don't have the energy. Or the will. I just have a lot to think about. Please Jenn just let me get some sleep."

Jenn sighed deeply getting comfortable and it wasn't long before she was snoring softly. I smiled and closed my eyes with a sigh going back to sleep.

SIERRA'S POV:

I sighed deeply and sat up looking at the clock. 4am? Seriously!? I flopped back and stared at the ceiling. My brain wouldn't shut off and it felt like nothing ever got better was going to be normal again. I hated feeling stressed all the time. And I really, really needed my phone. I'd had no contact with Liam since the hospital and we needed to talk. But what was the point? I didn't have anything figured out anyway. It would be a useless conversation.

There was a slight commotion in the kitchen and I decided that since I was up that I might as well just go out there. I stepped into the hallway and noticed my parents' bedroom door still closed. Is he still in bed? Confused I walked quietly towards the voice in the kitchen

I don't know. I think he hates me. At the very least he's disappointed.

There's one thing that I know for sure it's that your dad doesn't hate you Jon. You've just been a bit more to handle than he's used to.

He just...treats me differently. And he doesn't ever say anything back to me. Like. I try to tell him how I feel and it's just nothing. Blank stare.

Jon, you have horrible timing. You always wait until there is a major emotional issue to go on a rant about how unfair you think he was to you your whole life. He did the very best he could Jon. You were and always have been very important to him. He hated being away when you were a kid. He talked about you constantly. He was proud as hell of you.

He has a funny way of showing it.

Think about what you've done since Sierra got here. Does any of it make you proud? You let your girlfriend and her best friend nearly kill your only sister. This is the same sister who was ripped away from your parents as a very little girl. You've got to cut him some slack. He missed 13 years of Sierra's life. You can't expect him to just ignore her like she never existed. Your parents struggled and fought to deal with what happened. I was here when the police dug up the backyard looking for a body for two days. I picked him up from the police station after nearly 13 hours of being questioned, badgered and accused. He was so defeated and upset. It hurt him so much and it killed him to be accused of ever harming her in any way. The way it was twisted and spun to your mother. To trick her into throwing him under the bus and making her doubt him. I helped him move out when it drove a wedge between them. He slept on my couch for days without moving. I couldn't get him to do anything. He felt like such a failure in every way. There are so many things you will never comprehend Jon. Your words...they hurt...a lot. On top of trying to fix this broken, stressful mess going on here