Tell Me You Want Me [Unedited/On hold]

Chapter 21: Forgiveness

   Chapter 21: Forgiveness

   I awoke in Jason's room again. Honestly, I didn't want to get up. The bed was comfortable and I was still tired. More than anything though, I didn't want to face Jared. How could I? He had degraded me and made feel so dirty. What he did was abuse and I let him do it.

  I looked around the room for Jason. I didn't exactly expect him to be in the room, but part of me had hoped he would be. I climbed out of bed and went to the closet to grab some of Hannah's clothes when I stopped and realized they wouldn't be there anymore. We hadn't talked since she left and I was worried. I shook the thoughts away. I had enough to deal with right now.

  I said screw it and went to my room. I immediately regretted it. The room was a disgusting mess and I wish I never went in there. All I have to say is shit and throw up was everywhere. The smell almost knocked me off my feet. Jared leaned over the bed and threw up directly on my favorite zebra print rug for what looked like the hundredth time.

  Before I could throw up myself Jason came up behind me and pulled me away from the room, quickly shutting the door.

  "Stay away from the room. You don't need to see that," he mumbled.

  "Too late," I gasped trying to fill my lungs with clean air.

  "What the hell is wrong with him? Is he okay? He seems like he's dying," I panicked. I felt my eyes begin to fill with tears.

  Jason's hands that were just placed gently on my shoulders now held my face. "He's going to be okay...but he needs to go to the hospital."

  "Wait won't he go to jail?"

  Jason shook his head. "Doctor- patient confidentiality. He needs help and he needs it now. He's at risk for seizures. I didn't want to move him, but he's getting worse. He's on a lot harder drugs than last time."

  I nodded as Jason called an ambulance. It took them almost an hour to get there which pissed me off. We didn't live in the best neighbourhood, but it wasn't the worst either.

  The EMTs came in and got Jared. He cried,  begging me not to let them take him. I began to falter a bit. He was scared and I didn't blame him. From what I've seen and from what Jason has said withdrawal sounds like death, but he needed help.

  Now I'm going to admit something that is kind of fucked up and I would never say this out loud, but part of me was glad he was suffering. It was a very small part, but a part none the less. Karma is a bitch and she may not come when you want her to, but she comes none the less. This malice was foreign to me and I didn't like it. I stopped the dark thoughts that reared their ugly little heads. My somewhat resentment for what he had done was overshadowed by concern and that even bigger bitch love. I don't know how or why, but I still loved the bastard so as they loaded him up I crawled in with him.

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  As I thought, the ride to the hospital was only about twenty minutes away. I fought the urge to shoot the EMTs dirty looks, but reminded myself that they  were just doing their job.

  When we arrive I'm berated with questions. Some of which I didn't know the answers to. When Jason finally arrived he was able to fill in some of the blanks.

  Jared was rushed to a room I  wasn't allowed in. Jason and I was forced to sit in the waiting room. I was scared and shaking. Jared had started to seize before they took him back and I feel like he's going to die. Jason kneeled before me and took my hands in his.

  "He's gunna be fine. Don't worry, okay," Jason said calmly.

  I looked into his eyes and they were calm. I don't know how he can be so calm. Then I remembered he was a nurse so he probably saw this a lot. He doesn't talk about his job a lot, not that I've ever even bothered to learn anything about him. I've been too busy fucking my life up, yet some how he's always there to fix it.