I couldn't see anything. I couldn't really open my eyes. All I knew was I was still alive.
Why couldn't I just stay? No one is there for me.
I kept thinking about all my problems. Like I normally do. It was like I was in a nightmare though. I saw my father beating me. My mom dying in front of me. Dean breaking up with me and "CAS!" what? Why did Dean scream my name? Oh wait this is a nightmare.
I kept getting yelled at. Then someone starting shaking me. I opened my eyes slightly and saw Dean.
"D-dean?"
"Oh god Cas. You okay? You had a nightmare."
I looked around the room and noticed I'm in a hospital room. Ugh.
"Cas?"
"What am I doing here?"
I saw Deans face fall. Why?
"What do you mean? You're alive because your in here."
"So?"
"So? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well.... Maybe I just don't want to be alive anymore."
Dean looked down and saw my scars. Oh no. I quickly hid them from him.
"I've already seen them Castiel. So don't hid them."
"You hate me? Don't you?"
"Why would I?"
"Because what I do to myself. What I want to do. I mean for years you cared about the stupid rule at school and didn't talk to me. And you broke up with me."
"Cas. Listen. I love you and I just didn't want to disappoint my father. Trust me I didn't want to leave you and it heart like heck. I -- I just don't know why you did it? And if you need anyone I promise you I will be there. I don't hate you."
I looked over at Dean and held his hand tighter. I was ready. Well kinda but he still needed to know everything. So I told him...
About my Dad beating my for a lot of years, my mom dying in a car accident, my siblings leaving me, Crowley and the self harm.
After I got done talking he just stared at me. Why aren't you saying anything?
"Dean? Please say something."
"I didnt know that Cas."
"I never told you."
"I'm sorry."
For? You breaking up with me?
"Um -- I understand. It's hard to take in and I know you probably don't want to stay with a broken----."
"WHAT!? No. Cas no I'm staying with you. I told you that. I love you and no matter what I will be with you. If you want you can live with me. We have room and your eighteen in a two weeks."
"Why did you say sorry."
"Because I should of been there for you all those years and I would if I had the guts to talk to you back then."
"I love you Dean Winchester."
"And I love you Castiel Novak"
YOU ARE READING
Don't Worry I'm Used To It
FanfictionCastiel likes Dean. Dean likes Castiel. But there's rules they have to follow until Dean changes that. Castiel is still scared to be in a relationship with Dean because he's constantly being abused by his dad or Crowley beats him up. Most of his fam...
