A Marshmallow's Guide to Loving a Complete Idiot (Inanimate Insanity)(Marshple)

06. Former Enemies Make for Strange Bedfellows

"Paintbrush, think fast!"

Marsh only got a glimpse at her friend before diving into a bush beside them with everything she had. She held her breath and held her limbs close. Adrenaline pumped through her tiny limbs.

Apple ran behind her. "Paintbrush! I can't figure out where Marshmallow went! Can you help me find her?"

"I, uhh, think I saw her hanging out with Lightbulb earlier."

"Gee, thanks!" Apple charged off again. Marsh kept holding her breath.

"That should hold her for at least an hour." Paintbrush's tone wasn't of approval. Marsh still sighed with relief. "...You know that even she won't be tricked forever, right?"

Marsh crawled out from under the bush. 'She coulda fooled me.' "I know that. But I just need a few minutes to myself..."

"Do you want me to leave you alone too?"

Marsh settled beside Paintbrush; the bark of the tree they were leaning against was rough on her back. "No. Honestly, I need to talk about this whole thing... it seems off, don't you think?"

"Hm?"

"She's sweet, but that's kind of the problem. I still remember last season, when we ruined Christmas for her, and she was so upset that she hated me over it for two years."

"Ahh, I get it. You're worried about setting her off again?"

Marsh sighed. "Yeah. Like, when I mentioned a best friend I had... before, she got defensive. She asked me why I'd even think about her if I had a new best friend now. And, mind, I haven't called her my best friend at all."

"That's never a good sign. Jealousy is an ugly emotion; it won't help in the game." Paintbrush tapped the chart on their lap, bringing Marsh's attention to it. Sketched little caricatures of the contestants were scattered on the page amidst detailed notes in minuscule handwriting. Lines were drawn in different colors between them, with different labels.

'Gee, is THIS what Paintbrush does in their spare time?'

"This is the game. You can see here that there's already an alliance on Team Grand Slams; if they make the merge, it'll be dangerous. I know we have an alliance to the end."

'Huh...? When did we switch to talking about the game? And we didn't agree to a-'

"And then, you see here that there are a ton of likely alliances." They were marked in red. "Including Fan, Test Tube, and Lightbulb. If it comes down to contestant vote, they'll be against us."

Paintbrush had her and (a dunce-capped caricature of) Apple in one of these, with a label of "Love-Hate Relationship (?)" above it.

"Wait, we aren't in an alliance. All we do is draw and stuff."

"I think that part of why you're so stressed out about it is because you're looking at this the wrong way. You can't let her control you because the three of us should form an alliance. That way, we'll have three people, so we're going to have more power."

"...So, basically, you want to talk strategy when I need emotional support and advice." Marsh's tone was almost deadpan.

"N-no no no, not at all! I just think you should keep it in mind in whatever you do." Paintbrush's tone was insistent. "If you look on the bright side, this isn't so bad. Besides, even if she does go off against you, you were a fan favorite last season, WAY more popular than she was. If she does something wrong to you, the viewers'll vote her off immediately."

"I-I guess that's true, but I'm kind of getting sick of..."

'The game? The guilt? How competitive you're getting? Apple? The crazy politics of doing ANYTHING on national TV?'

"...Things in general," Marsh finished, feeling a bit lame. "I think there's merit to your idea of an alliance with her, but she's just driving me crazy lately. I just..."

'There's more off about it. Normal best friends don't draw you dozens of pictures of yourself or learn how to spell your name before even learning her own. She might be a little obsessed... Everywhere I turn she's waiting...'

"Tell you what, Marsh. At the end of the next challenge, we can approach her together to form our alliance. When we do that I'll divert her attention so you can get some time for yourself, and skillfully persuade her to leave you alone. We're past due for another challenge, anyway, considering Halloween just passed."

"You think that'll work?"

"Why shouldn't it? It's a win-win situation. And in the meantime I'll keep hiding you from her. Speaking of-" Paintbrush nudged her into the bush; Marsh fell on her face with a soft 'oof!' sound.

The sound of whistling accompanied by two sets of footsteps drew closer. "Yo Painty! We're playing detectives over here, wanna be the Watson to my funny-hat-man?" Even if the voice wasn't clear as day, who else would call Paintbrush the nickname but Ms. Bright Captain herself?

"I have no idea where she is, guys."

"We're looking for Marshmallow. She's gone missing." Apple's tone was unsure. "Are you sure you don't have any info?"

"I don't. Can you let go of me?"

"No can do; we have to interrogate you for evidence," Lightbulb said, "that's what detectives do."

"What?! But I don't know where she is! I'm not team captain in your books; what am I gonna know?!"

"That's what they all say."

"What does 'interrogation' mean?"

'...If the universe wants me to deal with Apple, then this is the easy way out. Funny how agreeing to an alliance with her is the only way to get a break...'

"I'm locking you up in the calm down corner for insubordination of an officer of the law." There was the sound of clinking metal. 'Does she have a pair of flipping handcuffs?!'

Marsh sighed and stood up, revealing herself to the amateur detectives. "I'm right here."

Apple's face brightened like the real Santa Claus was standing right there. "Marshmallow! I missed you, you silly goof!" Apple lifted her off the ground and captured her in a strangling hug. "You almost missed out on my latest drawing, silly billy!" She laughed.

"...Can you stop strangling me?"

Apple did so. "Haha, sorry. I'm just really excited to show you this next drawing. I call it, 'Special Friends Fun.'" Apple motioned as if she was putting a painting on a wall.

Marsh resisted the urge to roll her eyes. 'Just one more challenge...' "Oh! Lovely. I'm so glad that, um, our friendship inspires you so much..."

"Much, much more than friends, Marshmallow. We're special best friends. Didn't you pay attention to the title?"

Alarm flashed across Marsh's face. The way her heart was beating, it could have been panic. 'Oh my Lord. This could get ugly FAST. She said that so emphatically...''

Apple grabbed her hand and practically dragged her. Paintbrush mouthed an apology.

'The next challenge can't come soon enough. I need sweet relief.'