A Marshmallow's Guide to Loving a Complete Idiot (Inanimate Insanity)(Marshple)

15. Complement Each Other Well

The newspaper had very interesting headlines tone morning. Without a doubt, the Sunday papers tended to be the most interesting, being packed with the easiest crossword puzzles that the whole table struggled to complete, the funniest comics to laugh at, and the most sensational news from the whole week.

This issue was the Wednesday paper, usually the second most boring (behind Tuesday). But even the boring parts read things like "Local Hobo Donates Thousands to Dental Research!" and "Mayor Impeached for Drinking Peach Juice," which made for a lot of silliness.

Because of it, the Wednesday routine of Bow texting, Dough studying from a book, and Marsh and Apple looking through cartoons was interrupted.

"Local MePhone sued for treatment of gameshow contestants! Hide-and-seek challenge goes horribly wrong." Marshmallow chuckled.

"What's so funny? You're not at the cartoon page yet, are ya?"

"Oh, it's nothing that funny. It's just sweet, sweet irony at its finest."

"What's ironic?"

Marsh paused her reading to sip from her orange juice. "MePhone just got in trouble for contestant endangerment."

Apple blinked. "...I have like fifteen questions. What's irony, and what's 'endangerment' mean? And what's so funny, again?"

"Well, 'endangerment' is when you risk someone else's safety. 'Irony' is when something happens, but not how you'd expect it to happen."

"Oh. So, like, how we're living in this abandoned mansion instead of in a regular house? Is that ironic?"

Marsh rolled her eyes, but chuckled. "Kind of...? But I think it's ironic because you'd have expected him to be caught sooner, right? I got sent to Mars in episode two, you've been split in half at least three or four times... and at the very start of season one, I was impaled and made into a giant s'more."

Apple blinked again. "Whah...? Didn't contestants hurt each other all those times? What would MePhone do about it?"

"He didn't punish anyone for it, even though he was in charge. That's endangerment, and it's wrong."

"Ohhhh! I think I get it! ...But how is that funny? I don't like you getting hurt, Marshmallow."

Marsh sighed. "...I guess you wouldn't get it, then. It's kind of a... laugh-to-keep-from-crying deal?" She got back to reading. How could hide-and-seek be an art form, anyway? The advertisement Hide and Seek Gone Wild: The Art of Hiding Well might explain it a bit.

Before she got past the first paragraph, Apple chuckled, sounding downtrodden. "Is it another smart-person joke that I'll never get?" She looked up; that got her attention. "I'll never get the joke because you're smart and I'm dumb, right?"

"No!" Marsh refolded the paper and set it down. "It's not that funny. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Apple set her spoon down. "I dunno, Marshmallow. Someone could give a hilarious punchline like, 'Orange you glad to see me?' and I won't even get it. It's like I'm missing an important part of life. I feel horrible for being such a - what's the word - idiom."

"You're not that-" 'Wait a second, you're talking to Apple. We better be realistic.' "W-what I mean to say is, you know things I don't know." Apple perked up, interest piqued. Marsh combed her brain; 'there's no getting out of this now.' "You can do things I can't. For example, you know, um... that seven is a lucky number. And you know how to fingerpaint better than anyone else. And! Most importantly!" Marsh emphasized with her hands. "You're a great friend."

She raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Marsh found the words came very easily to her as she ran with it: "Yeah! You know how to share and care, and how to forgive. It takes a good heart to do it all. Even though I was really bad to you last season, you didn't think twice about forgiving me."

Apple smiled and looked away. "...Thank you. I'm not sure that any of it makes me smarter than you, but it's nice of you to try."

"Think of it this way: we're equals. I can handle the things that need words and numbers, and you can handle the things that involve fingerpaints and friendship."

"So we're like a team?"

"I didn't think to put it that way, but yeah. A team."

"You're the best! But... there is one thing." Apple drew a circle on the motheaten table cloth with her finger, suddenly bashful. "Can you maybe teach me to read? Maybe if I can read, I won't be as definitionally-challenged anymore."

"I may work hard, but I don't work miracles."

Still, Apple looked at her hopefully despite her deadpan, so she sighed and changed her tone. "I'm not all that great of a teacher. I'm not very patient; I think Dough would be a better teacher."

"Yah, she has a point." Marsh jumped as Dough phased through a wall behind her. "I read all the classics."

"I'm sure you're an amazing teacher, Marsh. I'd love to learn it right from my best friend."

The way she looked at her, with so much excitement and hope, Marsh soon gave in. She didn't stand a chance in the first place, really. "It'll be a lot of work, but if you care that much, I guess I could teach you..."

The exaggerated thanks she got almost made the inevitability of a hard task more manageable.

'Still, it's kind of neat that I can teach her something new, and she's so eager about it.'

"I guess it's time to get a library card, then. Lessons will start in a few days."

'She's already taught me so much about friendship, trying's the least I could do.'